So Close and So Sick!

Had a blast at Raw! Got to see Roman Reigns getting ready to make his entrance.
Turns out when I'm nervouse I say everything in my head out loud.
That got a smirk out of him.
I turned into a mushy teenage giggly school girl, I really did.
I even ooooohhhhhhddddddddd and aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhdddddddddddd!!!!
I was just trying to hurry up from going to the bathroom to get back to my seat so I wouldn't miss his entrance.
Seeing him prepping to enter was cool and unexpected and I geeked!!!

What wasn't so fun, walking through the freezing temps from the kid's parking garage spot.
We froze there and back and it took way more than 10 minutes.
But we did meet a fellow female wrestling geek fan and we are going to money in the bank with her in June.
I know I know I know, we are are hopeless, but you got to love doing something right!!!

Tuesday I slept all day, sick!
Headache, fever, sneezing, coughing, so sad and oh so sick.
Of course, my kid had been sick Sunday and Monday.
So I spent Tuesday and Wednesday with it.
She had to take tylenol and cold meds just to get through Raw.
And she had to let me drive us home because she didn't feel well enough.
She had be my GPS though because she knows the way and I don't.
Plus, she said with her headache she couldn't handle my constant nagging of her driving.

I don't think i constantly nagged her while she drove.
I merely commented on the speed, her level of fiddling with everything (radio, cell phone, etc...)
She doesn't keep her hands on the wheel at all.
She's always messing with stuff and moving around the front of the car!
How has she kept from having an accident i have no idea.
She waits till the last possible second to brake!
The drive there was nerve racking for both of us, lol!

YES I HAVE CONTROL ISSUES!!!!!!

Frozen Shoulder

i've been depressed, bored, and stuck in status quo land.
my shoulder which has been persistently getting worse since it pulled and burned at the end of april
has an official diagnosis of frozen shoulder.
i.e. torture via physical therapy and if that doesn't work, knock me out, stretch it out, more torture with physical therapy
and if it is still messed up, cut it open and cut the scar tissue up.
oh the joy, more surgery, and by the time this plays all out will be in a new year so there will be new max out of pockets.
so sick of being in pain and having the stupidest shit go wrong with my body.

i've been working so hard to get a handle on my type 2 diabetes but i keep just hitting these bumps.
at least the migraines are few and far between now.
they aren't gone completely, God Forbid, I get cured of anything.
i am losing some weight, not enough, but it is coming off.
i'm doing what the diabetes site recommends with carbs but i still think it is too many carbs.
my body seems to not be able to handle that many carbs at all.

it is moments like these i wish i'd treated myself better after my mother's death.
i got so depressed for so long i just lost myself to it.
i went so long without addressing my issues that by the time i got help i'd forgotten what it was like to be healthy.
now when i feel better it almost feels wrong like that's the broken me and the sick me is the normal me.
i've gotten so used to misery i don't know what it is like to live without it.

just to summon the interest to log in and blog has taken me months.
i don't want to tell the doctor and get more pills.
all my pills now are non-psychological which i'd like to keep that way.
but if i can't shake this depressive mood where all i do is sleep and stare into nothingness for hours...

all my little joys have evaporated and dispersed into the clouds now they rain down upon someone else's day.

Being Gutted Like a Fish

The surgery got approved at the end of March i get gutted like a fish.
No more periods.
No more pressure on myself.
It will be a relief not to have a uterus or cervix.
I am nervous.
It is a big surgery with a lot of stitches.
I hope it goes well and i heal quickly.
Right now I'm trying hard not to catch anything.

My allergies and sinus' are giving my grief.
It is hard for me to stay well anymore.
I'm depressed again and I don't know why.
I'm getting a tax return that will cover almost all the deductible and out of pocket expenses.
I can set up a payment plan on the rest.

My dad will be here the entire week of my surgery.
We can go to the hockey game since it is two days before.
It is all falling into place.
But I'm anxious.
Being cut on make me that way.
I think that's normal and healthy.
I hope.

My friend had an ovarian cyst removed.
Her surgery went well.
She is in pain but not too badly.
I'm just a horrible patient.
I know that, my kid and dad really know that.
I'm awful to be around when I'm in pain and sick.
Pain in the ass can't even cover it.

I go in 3/27 i will be outpatient - overnight observe.
I go monday to do the consent papers and get the post op scheduled.
The doc will also get all the drugs called in so i can pick them up.
I have the pre op on 3/19 at the hospital.
If i have a fever or chest congestion or something shows up on the chest x-ray they won't do the surgery.
Hopefully, it will all be clear.

My stomach has hurt all day.
I think i'm ovulating, it's like my uterus knows i'm getting rid of it
and it is protesting.
My period was awful as usual.
At least I can give any pads I have left to my friend.
I will get back the $4K in cost in pads within 2 1/2 years.
Yes, that's how many pads i go through!!!!
I know right, ridiculous!

Hippity Dippity Do

This trying to be healthy thing is going to kill me.
I eat more fiber my stomach swells up and i feel like i'm going to implode.
I cut back on sugar and carbs and i get freezing cold and shake all the time.
I do yoga to stretch out myself and improve circulation and posture and i injure my back and hip.

i've hurt my hip so much i know have snapping hip syndrome. no lie.
the doctor can even hear it when i move my knee up my chest, a loud POP!
And it hurts so bad I cry.

Xray was good, no stress fracture, no deformations, no tears.
There is just a lot of swelling and that is causing the pain.
Now i am winding down my steroid dosage and the pain is back as fierce as ever.
so now i have to make an appt. with the the bone doctor so i can get a shot straight into my hip.
sounds like some fun.

in the mean time, i'm supposed to be resting my hip.
how do you rest a hip i asked my regular doctor?
he said it is really hard but stay off my leg, don't get up and down a lot, and just rest it.
well today i took a walking tour with my kid at OSU, she's looking to transfer there to get a 4 year,
after she finishes her two year studies at Hocking Technical College.

needless to say my hip does NOT feel rested it feels like it is on fire!!!

so i'm 40 years old and i'm falling apart!
yup, falling apart!

This is the Winter that Never Ends

It goes on and on my friends this is the winter that never ends...

More snow tomorrow, brutal winds, freezing temps, and overcast skies, yup, it may be officially spring, but winter didn't get the memo.

My kid's sinuses are infected.
I got a migraine.
As the winter drags on so does the sickness.

I saw on a local news web site that people are depressed over the weather, really, duh, what clued you in on that.
I have not only noticed the overall depression hanging like a dark wet blanket over everyone,
but people are MEAN right now!

No one is smiling, people aren't saying excuse me, or holding open doors for others.

I've seen more people snap at others for no reason at stores in the past 2 weeks then the past few years.
I knew extended hot weather could make people cranky and agressive but I didn't know cold weather could do that.

I'm ready to put on some flip flops, walk some laps, and drink some lemonade, but until winter decides to release it's stangle hold on Ohio I'm out of luck.

I think I've slept more the past 5 months then my entire life.
The sun, when it does shine, seems like such a strange thing and it hurts my eyes.
If i get any paler I will become transperant.

I think that concludes my winter sucks rant for now.

I can't wait to rant about how hot it is!!!

Sick Puppy

Sophie the puggle got sick too!

She either caught the flu from my daughter which is possible or it was something she ate over by the dumpster.
I tried to get it out of her mouth but she gobbled it down.
She was sick for a week.
I was freaking out.
We had to dip our fingers into water for her to drink anything at all.
She wouldn't eat, not even lunch meat which is her favorite.
She stopped drinking water so I mixed water and orange juice and she'd lick that off my fingers.
She was miserable.
I was on the verge of taking her to the vet when she began to improve.

She might have been constipated, she didn't poop for 3 days.
I know that hurts from experience, gross right!
she is now back to her usually bouncy trouncy self.
this is the first time she's ever been sick.
Poor puppy!

Hopefully now that everyone in the house has been ill we can spend the next couple of months healthy.
Call me a dreamer, but not being sick would be such a blessing.

I Only Speak Up in My Mind

I see injustice and rudeness all the time, but i only speak up in my mind.
I don't like confrontation. I know I should say what I'm thinking and stop it, but I just shake my head and move on. What is it about me that makes me run and hide at the mere thought of calling someone out on their behavior? I'm a coward.

The only time I feel comfortable telling someone off is if they're younger then me. Like the two girls here that got into a girl fight. I broke it off. And told the girl that started it that she is to use her words and not her fists and the next time she came on the property she'd be arrested for trespassing. if that had been two adults fighting i would have just walked away. their adults, let them beat the crap out of each other. why do i care?!

the older i get the odder and more set in my ways i become.
my phobias grow and i want to stay in my home all the time.
i want to buy a house and never leave it.
if i had the money to do that i'd get everything off the internet.
i know this is not healthy. we are to want human contact, but i don't.
every time i try to meet people and put myself "out there" i get hurt.
you'd think i'd have tougher skin by now but i don't.

i'm twisted and broken down.
i don't want to interact with anyone in person.
people are rude, selfish, disgusting, and full of germs.
i am too, but they're my germs so i must live with them.
even my own kid is getting on my last nerve lately.

i guess i just hope this is a phase and my new medication will kick in and it'll pass!

The Common Cold

i have a cold, so very common of me, i know.
i feel like my body is being attacked.
my little immune system tries to defend, but i'm not yet on the mend.
i feel detached and sedated, but i'm not medicated.
i worry if i don't eat that i'll waste away.

i have a sore throat.
i have a nasty cough.
i have aches and pains.
i have a stuffy nose.
no headache, that's new.
no fever too.

just a laundry list of hacking and achoo's.
this cold has made me blue.
i don't know what to do.
orange juice is my new best friend.
i'd really love a popsicle too.
i sit in silence zoned out in illness' space.
a look of abandonment rest upon my face.
i wish i could sleep more then an hour or two.

i have no idea why i'm trying to make all of this rhyme.
i don't even have two dimes.
all i want to do is sleep and dream of fine dining,
but all i can stomach is toast and frozen pineapple.
this cause is lost!
i am being held hostage by the common cold and i want my freedom!!!

Neighbors and Drinking

Wow, sat around with some neighbors last night and they were drinking.
I kept telling them I'm NOT drinking because I'm trying to get pregnant.
The guys kept saying on purpose, why!
One of the neighbor woman wants one and she is like i know why.
they are cute, sweet, and adorable!

my friend and neighbor got totally trashed on about 3 glasses of wine.
another neighbor had to fireman then potato sack carry her home.
she texted me like an hour and half later saying she was puking.
this morning she still feels awful and she's NEVER drinking again.
I'll believe that when I see it.
I've said the same thing myself many times.

it's is interesting to be not drinking surrounded by drunk people.
i found it quite entertaining.
glasses got broken, men were hitting each other, woman were crying.
some of the guys almost cried.
inner secrets were being spilled.
it was all very dramatic.
and i remember and they probably don't.

interesting indeed :)

I Made My Bed

i did have a sinus infection.
last week i worked from home the entire week taking antibiotics and pounding the good cough syrup.
i slept at least 15 hours a day.
i tried to stay out of the cold and keep warm.
i drank lots of fluids and rested the crap out of it.
i finally went back to the office this past Tuesday.
someone put a buzzard on my cube wall so it was staring at me.
my boss finally got rid of it.
every time i tried to move it, it would just appear again.
but honestly i feel all better finally!

it's hard to be sick.
every little thing made me tired.
sophie got restless because i cut back her walks.
she is such a friendly little dog.
i'm lucky to have her to keep the nights from being so lonely.

the biggest thing i'm battling again is my depression.
the sickness, my weight being stuck, and men are just getting me down.
i've been fighting my depressed moods off and on since october,
but i don't know how much longer i can do it on my own.
i'm hoping not to go back on medication.

my daughter will be 21 on March 4th.
i miss having a little one.
every body thinks i'm crazy to want another child.
i've always wanted more children.
i just kept waiting for the perfect situation.
that has proven to be non-existent.
i guess i lost my chance a long time ago.

my biggest regret is not having at least one more child.
but time only marches forward and i have to accept that i will spend the rest of my life alone.
i made my bed and now i must lie in it!

Sick and Cranky

i've lost five pounds since my last post.
i'm averaging about a pound a day and that's while i'm on my period.
it isn't easy to break myself of my lazy ways.
i've been fantasizing about covering myself in chocolate syrup and letting a certain male lick it off,
then i cover him and do the same.
sweet, sweet, dreams they are indeed.

but i stick to the plan i created for myself.
it doesn't help that i'm sick again.
this stupid cold i caught from a neighbor has taken up residency in my head.
i think now i have a sinus and/or ear infection.
so i need to get into the doctor this week.

i take my vitamins.
i'm eating healthy foods.
i'm exercising.
but i get sick so easily.
i catch any little thing i'm exposed to.
all my neighbor did was lean in and talk to me.

i think i'm going to have to start wearing one of those surgical masks.
or put myself in bubble.
i wonder how expensive bubbles are.
the bubble would never work, sophie the puggle would think i'm her new dog toy.
i see many issues with that situation.

i'm just trying to live my life the best way i can.
but i can't do anything right.
i fail at everything i try.

i fail in relationships.
i fail at sex.
i fail at getting healthy.
i fail at being a good mom.
i fail at saving money.
i fail at supporting myself.
i am a BIG FAT FAILURE!!!!

sickness makes me cranky!

The Mood Swing Revolution

gab and i got in a huge fight saturday night and sunday.
over the fact i gave away a poster on her wall to the neighbor teenager.
i had to get the poster back.
she admits she overreacted and i admit i should respect her space and not give her stuff away.
it gave me a headache.

she said u r so moody, it's scary, it's like your pregnant or something.
i stormed out and went out to buy a pregnancy test.
i waited until gab left and took the test.
it was positive.
so i must of taken the one on the 11th too soon.
so i'm back to whose the daddy, bret or scott?

i've been trying to process this.
i told scott on fb, coward i know, but then i deleted the message like an hour later.
i don't know what to do.
i have an ob/gyn appt. on feb 10th.
i want the baby to be bret's.
can i just do that?

my boobs hurt, i'm nauseated and i want a small chocolate milk shake and a big mac!!!
then i want to take an egg roll and dip it in the big mac sauce.
yeah, i'm pregnant.

scott says if i finish paying him off he won't ever speak to me again.
that's good right.
then bret can be daddy and he will marry me and we will live...
who am i kidding, unless i'm having a boy, i'm screwed.
sometimes i feel like i live in india, china, or the middle east
both men in my life want boys.

maybe i should make up some 3rd men and pin the baby on him.
and just go it alone.
is that selfish???

disappointment and hockey

the pregnancy test was negative. so i'm bummed. i guess i'll just keep trying.
lucky for me scott can't keep it in his pants.
he wants to use my garage to work on one of his cars.
he kept saying i want to park something of mine in your garage.
annoying and totally immature which is so scott.

me, dad, and the kid went to a columbus blue jackets game last night.
we were in the first row, which was awesome.
my dad had a really great time.
got the tickets and parking pass free from work.
thank goodness we took Lucille, dad's gps with us.
downtown columbus is a mess, with tons of closed exits.
lucille got us there and back though.

i invited scott and his son, but his little bunny had laser eye surgery,
and she can only see out of one eye.
so he needed to be the good boyfriend and take care of her.
sucks to be a committed relationship.
he never tells her he loves her.
i don't think i could live with a guy that never says i love you.
she's got blinders on.
he's going to destroy her.
i just want to have sex with him and make a baby.
the only one that doesn't know he's a liar and a cheater is her.
she's so stupid!!!
but love does that to you.

The common cold

i've lost 5.5 pounds in the past six days thanks to the common cold.
i sleep then i sleep some more.
i've been eating chicken noodle soup and that's about it.
so now i'm back down to my pre-birthday pig out weight.
not the best way to accomplish it but very effective.
i still am sick, but feel much better.

i will be able to take my first pregnancy test sunday.
i got my fingers crossed that it's positive.
i've been very careful with the cold medicine i've been taking.
i don't want to hurt a baby if i'm with child.
even though robitussin and tylenol haven't helped at all.

today i got to run to the store.
there's no food in the house.
i got to get a few things.
my kid is back from school for 3 weeks on saturday.
we are going to drive each other crazy.
i know it's a short trip to drive me off the rails of the crazy train, but she knows my buttons and she pushes them with glee!

scott has been flirty.
somehow i think we are going to start having sex again.
i guess he really can't keep it in his pants.
thank God for that horny bastard!!!
he's coming over today and possibly tomorrow.
so if i'm not pregnant, he's still a viable baby sperm donation specialist.

i tired to eat oatmeal for breakfast.
it is just nasty.
i don't like oatmeal.
not even in cookies.
it's like jello or yogurt.
i don't care how healthy it is for me, i don't like it, yuck!!!
so the dog ate most of it and she enjoyed that!

Loser nearly busted

last night ...
i'm such a dork!
i've got a head cold and i feel like shit!
fever, sore throat, sneezing, coughing, headache from hell!!!
so i'm sleeping alot and trying to keep hydrated.
i'm in a foul mood.
but Sophie the Puggle still must be walked.

so i'm in my pj's, dr. pepper pants and a nightgown, both are now 3 sizes too big.
i throw on a jacket 2 sizes too big and slip on shoes.
i'm walking and i see scott's car.
i think, he's such a loser.
so what do i do, i write loser on the trunk of the car with my finger in the dirt.
two seconds later, he pulls in, in the bunny's car, and honks at me.
i'm like shit, he's going to know that's me.
so he's putting trash in the car to go to the dumpster.

i circle around and when he goes around the corner i run back up to the car
and wipe the loser off of the car!
i don't know what got into me.
it was very immature, but i can be immature.
so i start walking back the regular path and he pulls over to talk to me.
i tell scott i'm sick.
he has hiccups.
he had a beer, he doesn't like beer.
he throws sophie his water bottle (she loves water bottles)
i jokingly cough in his direction and tell him i'm just sharing like a good neighbor.
he drives off and i come home.

i really need to suppress my childish urges.
but when i'm sick i'm more puckish.
my neck is really sore too.
i put icy hot on it after an ice pack didn't work.
i slept 12 hours and woke up still feeling like crap.
but the show must go on.
work is slow so hopefully i won't have to fire up to many neurons today.

A Car, A Boy, and Sex

wow, thursday afternoon began a crazy weekend. scott showed up to get his money for the car.
he threw me face down on the bed, pulled my pants down, got busy, pulled my hair and choked me.
i ain't ever been taken like that and i LIKED it!!! damn!

after work i went and got the kid and her boyfriend. he's okay. of course, i'm not going to be crazy about the boy that took my daughter's virginity, but he's better then that douche she dated in high school. she's very bossy with him, but he stands up to her, which is exactly what she needs. but feeding them is expensive, not to mention she went to the doctor friday and she has bronchitis and a sinus infection, so i had to get her meds too. and he's got a cough, so i bought him cough drops and cough meds. he's going to the doctor next weekend. sophie the puggle really likes him, cuz he pets her all the time.

friday, scott came over and we went over to his best friends' house to get the title on the car. his friend and his wife seemed really nice. i didn't talk much, i just observed. he and scott have been best friends for over 15 years.
scott says he moved to ohio because his best friend did. and scott introduced his best friend to his wife when he worked with his wife. they're really close.

i wondered if they liked scott's current live in girlfriend. and if they like me or not. scott and i just talked while we were in the car. it was nice. we usually are busy fooling around and don't really talk.

i told him my kid is bossy with her boyfriend and he said she's dominant then, and i said, yes she takes after me.
he couldn't stop laughing, he said you aren't dominant, and i said i usually am the dominant one, but i'm not with you.
he is the exception to my one rule, to not be submissive to a man or let him have power over me.

he has shattered my one rule to a million pieces.

he didn't believe that i'm normally the dominant one in a relationship. if he talked to anyone i've dated in the past, except bret, he'd see different. i had such high hopes for bret being my one exception, but he was NOT dominant in the bedroom. it was a let down.

so saturday i went and got the temp tags for the car, my driver's license renewed, and my registration done. a very expensive trip, and next month to get the plates and registration on the new car is $110. my kid is always costing me money, but i love her.

we had to jump start the car because it had been sitting for a week. i put $20 of gas in it then they followed me to the dog park, because it has a huge parking lot for the kid to learn to drive the manual car in it. they let sophie play at the dog park then they practised driving. she keeps stalling it and had trouble with 3rd and 4th gear.

so i asked scott to come down and take her out for a driving lesson without the boyfriend. they were gone about an hour. he said she can do it, she just has to focus, he had her on a hill and she did fine. so he said let her drive to wal-mart with me in the car and don't say anything.

his exact words to me "get in, hold on, shut up"

i did that and the boyfriend kept talking. we almost rolled back into a car. so they did a chinese fire drill at a light. but it's progress!!!!

today they go have lunch with the boyfriend's mom, she hasn't met him yet. then they go back to campus. i told her she has to keep gas in the car. i will have my peace and quiet back by 3pm, yipee!!!!

just in time for me to sign into work!

woke up crying

i'm so very sad today. i woke up with tears running down my face. i had been dreaming earlier in the night of scott and happily ever after, but as the night progressed my dreams turned darker. i was in a hospital in a gown. i was frantically walking around endless corridors with doors that wouldn't open. i didn't know where i was, it was like every hospital i'd ever been in since i was a child was combined into one huge hospital in my head.

i was in alot of hospitals growing up with my mother's illness taking us lots of different places. dad and i would kill time by wondering aimlessly around these old and huge hospitals. we'd find chapels, and just empty spaces that we sometimes could never find again. i can't imagine my life being as sick as my mother was.

i hate hospitals. they smell like clean death. i woke up so sad, anxious, and just strung out with worry.

today, in a few minutes, i go back to the doctor for more testing on my sugar levels. my ac1 is 6.1 which indicates pre-diabetes.

i got books a tthe library on it and bought one at a store, plus i've been reading about it on the internet and all i can say is i'm so confused.
every book and site gives these steps to stopping or reversing pre-diabetes

1 - lose weight (even 10% of your body weight can help) --- i've lost 17% of my body weight this year

2 - exercise at least a 1/2 hour every day --- i exercise an hour every day

3 - eat a well balanced diet with limited starchy carbs -- i removed all "white" starchy carbs like potatoes from my diet months ago

4 - eat at regular 2-3 hour intervals (don't skip meals) - this is one i could work on, i eat when i'm hungry, but i always have breakfast, lunch and dinner

i just don't know what i'm doing wrong. i feel so frustrated. according to all the books and web sites my sugar should be fine.

i'm so freaked out, i was telling scott about it because he could tell i was upset and i started to cry.
he gave me a hug and said they can do things for this it's not the end of the world.
but i don't want to have to stick myself with some meter all day long and give myself shots or take pills.
i'm trying to have a baby here, this is the worst timing ever.

i have alot of questions for my doctor. it's like i just can't catch a break on my health.
first it was tryglcerides and chlosterol.
then it was my vitamin d
and now it's my sugar.

i fix one thing and another gets out of whack!!!!
i'm so very sad about that.

Today Sucked!

work was exhausting and brutal. i have a problem that has me stumped which is just adding to the long list of my frustrations.
bret got his house broken into and all his and his daughter's stuff stolen.
his daughter has walking pneumonia at 6.
plus, his boss/landlord told him if he didn't get his custody stuff resolved on 11/30 he needed to move.
wow, when it rains it pours and i was of no comfort.
i couldn't say more then i'm sorry, i feel bad, i hope your daughter feels better.
then i just started to ramble on and on about myself.
and he went off on me, rightly so, i wasn't being consoling or comforting.
i'm not good at that sort of thing.
i don't function well in times of crisis, i shut down and go on auto pilot.

on the up side yesterday, scott, jackie, and other told me i was pretty.
that's always nice to hear.

i'm getting away from my goals.
i'm losing my focus. i'm letting others influence me again
i think i will meet my birthday goal of 199 pounds, i actually lowered it to 192.
but as usual i'm getting obsessed with it and i'm afraid i'll take it off too quickly.
my birthday isn't until nov. 28th
so it is time to readjust my perspective and zero back in on my health.

tonight was grilled chicken and broccoli with cheese sauce (red. fat)
and a granny smith wood chuck hard cider.
that's a fruit serving right ;)

migraine took its toll

i got on the wii this morning and since tuesday i've lost 7.3 pounds due to my migraine.
i couldn't keep food down, it was either coming out of one end or the other.
now i'm trying to ease my way back into food.
i just had some cucumbers and water.
i have to go to the grocery.
i know i need to kick start my weight loss again because it had stalled, but this is NOT what I had in mind.

taking it easy this weekend.
it's going to be cold and rainy.
i'm going to clean and just avoid certain if not all people.
i'm going to get a hair cut.
and possibly color my hair.

here's hoping to a peaceful and relaxing weekend.

the migraine is winning

i went on a date last night, me and my migraine.
he was sweet. i had toast and scrambled eggs since i've not been able to eat much.
by the time he picked me up i'd been up nearly 40 hours.
i tried to be engaging, but i can't really remember much about what he said.
he insisted i try a ibprofun pm and we went to kroger's and he bought me a small bottle.
he insisted i had to take 3.
i gave him a hug and we made tentative plans to go out again next week (he's out of town over the weekend)

he left and i got so sick. my dinner didn't not stick around to put it in the least grossest terms i can think of.
i took a hot shower, 3 of the pm tablets and hoped for the best.
i laid down at 9, last look at the clock was 10:38, i woke up at 2:14am sicker then when i went to bed.
i got sick again, and my migraine was worse.
i tried to go back to sleep, around 5AM i drifted off for almost 2 hours.
but my migraine is winning.
if it's not gone tomorrow i'm going to have to cave and go to urgent care for a shot.
i hate this one, it's the worst migraine i've had in years.

i don't even remember his last name. he did text me this morning to see how i was.
he thought for sure the pm pills would work cuz it works on his migraines.
i told him my body reacts to medication differently from most people.
it tends to wear off faster, he asked if i was superwoman, i said nope, just a cuzin.

he seemed nice, maybe next time we go out i won't feel like shit!