Diabetes and Me

Well, it has finally happened, I was diagnosed with Diabetes.
Sugar and I have to break up.
This will be the hardest thing I will ever have to do.
I don't need medicine or shots.
And I plan to keep it that way.

I also was prescribed medicine to help with my anxiety, mood swings, and sleep problems.
I haven't had a restful night's sleep in months.
I feel like an Alien living in my own body at times.
I drop things. I can't form sentences. I can't think of simple words.
I get confused. I zone out. I take twice as long to complete anything.

I'm surrounded by stress.
Work is stressful.
Buying a house is financially stressful.
My kid is stressful.
My coping skills have been tapped out.
I feel like I'm being attacked from all sides.
I even feel like Sophie the Puggle has been too demanding lately.

I have no patience.
I just want to curl in a ball in my room and never come out.
I've gained 25 pounds since March.
I have been eating sweets, carbs, and fatty foods because they comfort me.
And now I have to pull my head out of my ass and knock it off.
I don't have a death wish, but at times I realize I am eating myself to death.

The kid and I have given up pop.
She drank regular and I can tell she has lost weight.
I drank diet and I haven't lost a pound.
I do notice I don't crave sweets as much.

I can get control of my eating.
I ordered a diabetic food tracker and signed up for an on-line diabetes management site.
I think I'm going to try and find a class to take in Jan. after all the moving has settled down.
I close on the house Thursday.
Then I will spend weeks moving and unpacking and cleaning.
I can do this. I just have to keep reminding myself I can do this.

It's Going to Be Alright

braved getting on the wii today to weigh myself and do some yoga
the wii board was happy to inform me it had been 20 days since my last visit
i'm thinking, oh no, i've gained, i've gained,
but i was surprised i'd lost 4.9 pounds in 20 days.

it's not some record or anything it is just the right direction.
i started writing down what i eat and i mean everything i eat.
that keeps me honest and lets me see how much i'm eating.
now i'm starting to count calories, carbs, fat and fiber again.
i'm slowly getting back into the weight loss groove.

the yoga kicked my butt.
my balance was still okay though.
my new man is starting a px90 work out.
he says it's intense and an hour a day.

i'm going to do what works for me.

i will wii, walk, count calories and carbs.
it can be a pain and if i'm feeling lazy like i have since january,
i gain back weight.
but considering my lowest weight back in november was 193 i didn't go too crazy.
but i'm starting to feel like my old self.
the sadness and emotional turmoil is lifting.
my new man is a breath of fresh air.

i asked him to give me a hickey and he gave me a huge one.
he just excites me to the core.
just sitting here thinking about him turns me on.
there's this amazing connection that is physical and euphoric.
i'm not in love, i'm in primal animal full sexual peak.
i know i'm going to be stupid and fall in love eventually.
he explained to me when a woman gets an orgasm from a man
she releases a chemical in her brain that attaches her to that man.
and i'm attached or addicted whatever you want to call it.

i went 6 months with no orgasms to him giving me 10 in an hour.
how could i not want that as much as possible?!

today is about getting back on track in my life, health, and happiness.
i finally get that feeling that it's going to be alright!

My Ass Got Fatter

i celebrated my kid's 21st birthday weekend, not in drink, but in food.
lots and lots of food.
we ate out all weekend.
we loved the cheesecake at the cheesecake factory.
my kid got her chipotle on, her fave.
and their was pizza and cake at her party.
it was a mellow family event.
all i did all weekend was eat and drive.

i put many miles on the car and 5 pounds on my body.
my ass got fatter.
it is weird how you lose weight and then when you gain some back it doesn't go back to the same places.
my tummy got a little rounder but my butt got HUGE!!!
so it is back to the program.
protein, veggies and fruits.
i go in a week to get my triglycerides, cholesterol, and vitamin d checked.
i'd hate to go back and have to be put back on meds cuz i can't keep the junk food out of my mouth.

i had a surprise though over the birthday weekend.
my 2nd ex-fiancee facebooked me and told me he was getting divorced.
i met him for breakfast on sunday.
he looks the same.
same smile, same brown eyes, he's filled out.
he was such a skinny thing back in the day.
it had been 18 years since we were a couple engaged.
we agreed we were both just really young.
we are talking and texting now.
i hope we can be friends.
i don't know if it'll ever be more then that.
but we still have some stuff in common as far as music and values.
it was good to talk to him.
he said i looked good and i was like he remembered me and that was a good thing.

this week my allergies have been kicking my butt.
but other then that we are back into our routine.
i know i'm so boring!
someone told me i was sexy, i think they were high :)
i've retired from dating.
doesn't mean i won't ever have sex again, cuz we all know you don't have to date to copulate ;)
i'm hoping for a quiet sunny weekend.
my kid is going home with one of her college friends.
i'm not completely broke, but i'm never rich.
everything is right where it should be and i can't complain.

I Made My Bed

i did have a sinus infection.
last week i worked from home the entire week taking antibiotics and pounding the good cough syrup.
i slept at least 15 hours a day.
i tried to stay out of the cold and keep warm.
i drank lots of fluids and rested the crap out of it.
i finally went back to the office this past Tuesday.
someone put a buzzard on my cube wall so it was staring at me.
my boss finally got rid of it.
every time i tried to move it, it would just appear again.
but honestly i feel all better finally!

it's hard to be sick.
every little thing made me tired.
sophie got restless because i cut back her walks.
she is such a friendly little dog.
i'm lucky to have her to keep the nights from being so lonely.

the biggest thing i'm battling again is my depression.
the sickness, my weight being stuck, and men are just getting me down.
i've been fighting my depressed moods off and on since october,
but i don't know how much longer i can do it on my own.
i'm hoping not to go back on medication.

my daughter will be 21 on March 4th.
i miss having a little one.
every body thinks i'm crazy to want another child.
i've always wanted more children.
i just kept waiting for the perfect situation.
that has proven to be non-existent.
i guess i lost my chance a long time ago.

my biggest regret is not having at least one more child.
but time only marches forward and i have to accept that i will spend the rest of my life alone.
i made my bed and now i must lie in it!

Idea to Break the Tie

hello all.
it has been awhile.
i've been stuck at the 195-200 pound range for nearly 3 months now.
i blame several things, the weather, the holidays, the emotional roller coaster i've been on,
but blame won't make me lose more weight.
blame has been my crutch to excuse my lack of effort in jan.
but now it is feb. and on with the show.

i have figured out how to get myself fired up and to push through the last 30-35 pounds i have to lose.
i call it the snacks diet.

i will eat one meal a day that is 500 calories or less and 50 carbs or less.
this will either be breakfast or lunch, never after 2 pm.

i will then have 4 snack size meals through the rest of the day at least 3 hours apart.
they will be less then 175 calories and 15 carbs.

this will total 1200 calories and 110 carbs every day.

this should jolt my system back into dropping pounds.

i've also gotten lazy with my exercise.
i will do the wii for at least 30 minutes 4 days a week.
and then use netflix fitness videos for the other 3 days a week.
this will introduce some new work outs into my routine and thus stave off the boredom.

it begins when i go to the grocery store.
i have no food in the house.

i've been eating at 8pm, and going out to eat too much.
i've just been lazy lazy lazy.

it has to stop.
i got to carry this through.
i can do this!!!

Depression makes me fat

i've gained nearly 7 pounds since last week when i lost the baby.
i've fallen into a crippling depression.
i'm always going to bed.
if i'm not in bed i'm eating.
i eat everything and anything.
i'm not even hungry.
it is like i'm trying to fill up the emptiness inside of me.

physically i feel better.
all the yucky bleeding and cramping has stopped.
next week i go to the doctor to see if it is all okay
and to find out when i can start to try to get pregnant again.
but emotionally i'm a wreck.
i know this is a deep depression.
i've been through this before several times.
i don't want to go back on medications to get out of this.
if i'm on meds i can't try to get pregnant.

i didn't realize how much i wanted another baby until i found out i was pregnant.
and now that i've lost the baby all i want is to try again.
i really need to focus on having a baby.
i need to find my motivation again.
i've been kicked down but i can't stay down.
this is my pep talk to myself.
pull yourself up shannon irene and get back on that horse.

you are pretty.
you are smart.
you are awesome.

you know all 3 men (excluding my father) have told me i'm pretty my whole life.
the kid's dad, my ex-fiance brian and scott.

bret told me that there's was nothing about me, face or body that would make him look twice.
it was because he remembered me and my personality from high school that he started talking to me.
he said i was such a happy go lucky person when we were in high school.
that was such a long time ago.
like scott said, we are only small pieces of the people we used to be.
my demons have eaten a huge amount of the happiness i used to have.

happiness, we are guaranteed the pursuit of it in the u.s. constitution
and this nation pursues happiness with a vengance,
but we are more depressed, medicated and fatter then ever.
i think we are all failing on a huge scale to keep the happiness we find.
i bet alot of people are like me.
i think i know what makes me happy so i go after it, get it,
and it either bores me, or it wasn't what i had thought it would be.
then i'm not happy anymore.

i think we are a nation of discontents.
we are all children running around in a candy store.
or a bunch of bulls running loose in a china shop.
i can't carry happiness when i'm being crushed by my infinite sadness.
i want to be happy, but i want to be happy all the time.
and nothing is 100% all the time on.

it hurts to know that scott will reject me again and again.
it hurts to know that i'm never going to be me again.
but i have to go forward because going back is never an option.

He Comes Around

another visit from my naughty neighbor scott.
he gave me the maintenance information on the jeep.
i swear he loves berta like he really should love that woman he lives with, but to each his own.
we did our usual plus the anal sex for a minute.
that was different, i'm not sure i liked it, my butthole itches now.
he tried to get me off, bless his heart.
you'd think at his age he'd know how to do it a little better then that.
but considering we were standing up against the garage door you do what you can.

i think this was the last time.
the new year begins the new changes in me.
and he won't be allowed to touch me anymore.
i'll have to be mean about it.
i think if i call him a loser and a 2 pump chump he'll not want to talk to or kiss me anymore.
he rocks on the kissing.
i finished him off with a blow job.
i am going to miss his flavor.
it's like creamy with light saltiness...

scott did NOT get me the snowflake necklace.
he thinks maybe the little twin girls gave it to me,
which would be really sweet, but i haven't seen them out so i'll have to ask them when i do.
otherwise, i won't know who gave it to me and that creeps me out a wee bit.

my hip is seriously messed up.
i fell, thank you balance disorder.
and caught myself with my hip against the wall at the top of the stairs.
i've gained 4 pounds back to 199 again.
and i can only walk a bare mile everyday before my hip goes into spasms.

i'm so old, old, old, old, old.
and some people just annoy the crap out of me.
another neighbor asked what i did and i said i fell,
and she said well the bigger you get the harder you fall,
i gave her the look, but did not say, so u think i'm BIG/aka fat!
she back pedaled so fast it gave me whiplash,
then went to well when you're older,
which i gave her another look, but did not say, so u think i'm OLD!!!
i don't like her, she talks like a stoner.
she tries to be nice, but it just comes off as her thinking she's better then me.
stupid bitch!!!
pain makes me mean!!!

The common cold

i've lost 5.5 pounds in the past six days thanks to the common cold.
i sleep then i sleep some more.
i've been eating chicken noodle soup and that's about it.
so now i'm back down to my pre-birthday pig out weight.
not the best way to accomplish it but very effective.
i still am sick, but feel much better.

i will be able to take my first pregnancy test sunday.
i got my fingers crossed that it's positive.
i've been very careful with the cold medicine i've been taking.
i don't want to hurt a baby if i'm with child.
even though robitussin and tylenol haven't helped at all.

today i got to run to the store.
there's no food in the house.
i got to get a few things.
my kid is back from school for 3 weeks on saturday.
we are going to drive each other crazy.
i know it's a short trip to drive me off the rails of the crazy train, but she knows my buttons and she pushes them with glee!

scott has been flirty.
somehow i think we are going to start having sex again.
i guess he really can't keep it in his pants.
thank God for that horny bastard!!!
he's coming over today and possibly tomorrow.
so if i'm not pregnant, he's still a viable baby sperm donation specialist.

i tired to eat oatmeal for breakfast.
it is just nasty.
i don't like oatmeal.
not even in cookies.
it's like jello or yogurt.
i don't care how healthy it is for me, i don't like it, yuck!!!
so the dog ate most of it and she enjoyed that!

so relieved

i've lost 50 pounds since this time last year. i've lost 9 pounds since i was at the doctor in septemember. my sugar went down from 6.4 in september to the 6.1 the ob/gyn did last week. my doctor was so proud of me, she hugged me.

she told me to stay motivated through the holidays and she'd see me in feb and she's confident if i keep exercising and losing weight my sugar will drop back down below 6 which is normal.

i told her i was confused on carbs and how many i should eat a day. she told me to keep the carbs under 120 per day and to make them come from fruits, whole grains, and vegtables. she says i'm doing everything right and it's just going to take more time. she said she'd be thrilled if i could just take off 20 more pounds.

i feel so much better now. i was all worked up about it. i got my flu shot too.

i feel great and healthy. my fms, mood swings, and general blahness is gone for the most part. i told her the sugar thing had been depressing me, but she was encouraging and confident that i could get it under control with no medications.

this is such happy happy news!!!
life is looking good right now.
i can do this, this is my year!!!

Today Sucked!

work was exhausting and brutal. i have a problem that has me stumped which is just adding to the long list of my frustrations.
bret got his house broken into and all his and his daughter's stuff stolen.
his daughter has walking pneumonia at 6.
plus, his boss/landlord told him if he didn't get his custody stuff resolved on 11/30 he needed to move.
wow, when it rains it pours and i was of no comfort.
i couldn't say more then i'm sorry, i feel bad, i hope your daughter feels better.
then i just started to ramble on and on about myself.
and he went off on me, rightly so, i wasn't being consoling or comforting.
i'm not good at that sort of thing.
i don't function well in times of crisis, i shut down and go on auto pilot.

on the up side yesterday, scott, jackie, and other told me i was pretty.
that's always nice to hear.

i'm getting away from my goals.
i'm losing my focus. i'm letting others influence me again
i think i will meet my birthday goal of 199 pounds, i actually lowered it to 192.
but as usual i'm getting obsessed with it and i'm afraid i'll take it off too quickly.
my birthday isn't until nov. 28th
so it is time to readjust my perspective and zero back in on my health.

tonight was grilled chicken and broccoli with cheese sauce (red. fat)
and a granny smith wood chuck hard cider.
that's a fruit serving right ;)

so sick of driving

wow, i put 649 miles on the car and spent $600 bucks this weekend.
Friday was getting the kid from college, doing her laundry, and taking her to the sprint store to replace her blackberry which got wet and died.
so we upgraded her to the i phone (she's in love with it) and we upgraded my dad to a phone with big buttons.
so early merry christmas to both of them.
$208 at the sprint store, but i have to buy stamps to send a $50 rebate.
she had my number until sunday afternoon and i'm still getting texts and calls from her college buddies.
i did her laundry, picked up her prescription and we bought her groceries.

saturday we headed to indiana to great uncle dave's 80th birthday party.
we had to go through richmond to get to hoagland
so we picked up my neice and her boyfriend.
then we went to see my cousins in richmond before we headed to the hog roast.
i spent 8 hours in the car on saturday.
my back still hurts and my ass is still clenched.
but i got to see alot of family that i hadn't seen in 10 years.
and damn, we age well!!!
my cousin gave me the motivation i needed to get my last pounds off,
she reminded me how stubborn we are as a family,
and when we make up our minds to do something we get it done.
so i'm renewed.
great uncle dave is going to hike the grand canyon AGAIN!!!
awesome!
i had cousin tim's homemade BBQ sauce.
boy, did i reqret that around 3AM the next morning.

today was getting gab back to the sprint store so she could get her phone # back and stop using mine.
taking her back to college and unloading her.
a grocery trip for me, eggs, cheese, milk, fruit, veggies and soup.
i am focused and driven to meet by goal by my 39th birthday (nov. 28th)
my goal was to be under 200 LBS (199) but now I want 195, i have 10 pounds!!!
I did 2 miles walking friday night, saturday before we left, and today after i got back from dropping off the kid.

i'm focusing on myself and my health.
if the naughty neighbor comes around we will see what happens.
he's lived with his little bunny since feb. and we started are fucking around in early august.
she said it's like dating herself and it's so normal, i almost yawned.
i asked isn't that boring and she said there's enough twist that it's okay.
he and i have such passion and chemistry, it's a damn shame we aren't exploring that on a regular basis.
but i can't get wrapped around this and let it consume me.
i do deserve better.
i jokingly told her about when gab asked if scott and i were having sex cuz i patted him on the shoulder
and i told her no, you'll get my ass kicked by his woman.
and she laughed and said i know that wouldn't happen.
like he wouldn't cheat on her or he just wouldn't cheat with me???
i am offended.
she has no fucking clue that he comes down here and we fuck around.
NONE. if she's that fucking clueless she deserves it.
she went on and on on how if he cheated or wanted an open relationship she'd be gone.
after i get what i want she might just get an ear full.

I love hard cider

it is raining like crazy crazy cold rain.
so i thought, what's good on a cold, dreary, depressing rainy day, answer, booze!!!
so i went to the store and i bought an orchard of hard ciders, a variety pack, of 4 different kinds,
and of course, i got a six pack of my fave, strongbow, God bless England!!!

so i told scott (aka the naughty neighbor) our little "chats" are done.
i did it the coward's way, i facebook'd msg'd him, giggles!
and i've been avoiding him, because i know that if he touches me i will cave.
and i have to be strong, i deserve better!!!

i've been such a bad bad girl today.
i had a good healthy lunch and breakfast.
it was the snacks that got me, cookies, pumpkin donuts, and brownies, yums...
and then i topped off with kfc for dinner.
i'm no angel, but i can't go off the rails now.
i've worked too hard and come too far.

so tomorrow i climb back on the work horse.
i hit the wii, if it's still raining, i hit the wii hard, for an hour.
if i have do 15 minutes at a time i will, but i will get my exercise in.
i stocked up on fruit, eggs, cheese, and milk.
so i got my essentials.

now i just got to focus, buckle down, and get the job done, only 35 more pounds to go.
i can do it!!!

the microwave is alive!

i was putting in gab's old college microwave so i'd have one until i could replace the newer one that i had thought was dead.
i plugged in the small one and it didn't work.
so i grabbed a little light i have and plugged into all the kitchen plugs and ALL 3 kitchen plugs to the left of the stove don't work and the 3 to the right of the stove do.
so i went and got the newer microwave and plugged into one of the plugs that work and it's ALIVE!!!
i did me a major happy dance and squealed with delight.
i am so happy i don't have to buy a new microwave.
i called the office and they opened a work order for the maintenance guy to come see why those 3 plugs died.
i use them all the time for the toaster and the can opener.
hopefully it is something he can fix easily.

met a man yesterday over at a neighbor's, we were clicking and so my other neighbor asked him if he liked me and yup, he's got a girlfriend.
dag nab it, i can't catch any breaks when it comes to the men i dig!

i am eating healthy but i've gain back 3 of the 7 pounds i've lost since i can eat and not throw up.
i'm working out and walking every day now.
my goals are the same, health is my priority over everything else now.

i'm getting all my ducks in a row!

migraine took its toll

i got on the wii this morning and since tuesday i've lost 7.3 pounds due to my migraine.
i couldn't keep food down, it was either coming out of one end or the other.
now i'm trying to ease my way back into food.
i just had some cucumbers and water.
i have to go to the grocery.
i know i need to kick start my weight loss again because it had stalled, but this is NOT what I had in mind.

taking it easy this weekend.
it's going to be cold and rainy.
i'm going to clean and just avoid certain if not all people.
i'm going to get a hair cut.
and possibly color my hair.

here's hoping to a peaceful and relaxing weekend.

Enjoying the Peace and Quiet

yesterday was busy all morning. got the kid moved in to her dorm. she found out there's no cable. her roommate didn't move in until today.
my neice looks better. she's stilil really really weak. it could take her months to get her strenght back. but she's feeling better. we talked alot about what has been happening with her. she's got a bright future, it's sad she let her ex cloud her thinking to the point where she could not see it.
but i have high hopes she's ready to move on and forward to bigger and better people, things, and blessings.

celebrated the empty house by dancing around in the nude. after a half hour i got cold and put a some clothes on. but i enjoyed and reveled in the moment. went to the grocery and got lots of healthy food. grapes, strawberries, carrots, celery, whole wheat bread, lean turkey, and still walked 2 miles. it was a productive day.
today not so much. i only had until 2pm to do whatever i wanted to do then i had to work.

took the dog to the dog park. walked me 3 miles. came home, cleaned a little then it was time to sign on :( and even as i write this, i'm still logged onto work, i'm waiting for the patches to be installed to fix a problem we've had with weights and volumes on shipments showing correctly in the system. then after that, hopefully, i will be able to start all the jobs back up and get off the work computer.

i'm excited. the weight loss is going well. the kid is off doing her own thing. even though i'm alone, i'm not sad about it. life is good right now.

The Big Day

tomorrow is my kid's big day. she goes back off to college after one year off due to financial difficulties. she is excited, packed, and ready to roll in the morning.
i love her and want her to succeed. i am being supportive. these are big changes, last time she spent a year away at college i didn't do much with my life. i sat around the house and watched tv. that's not an option for me this time.

now i'm losing weight, feeling great, single and ready to mingle. i'm getting out and talking to people. next saturday i hope to go out with some neighbors and have a drink or two. i have to relearn how to have fun with adults and have an adult conversation. i've been a full time mom as long as i've been an adult. i was so depressed the first year she went away, but i'm not depressed anymore.

i'm going to seize this day and all the days after it. life is too short to pine for what could have been.

i will begin dating on sunday. watch out, i'm going out!!!

I can't help myself

well, i'm doing it to myself again. i let him back in. i invited him, opened the door and my legs and just took it hard, fast, slow, and over and over again. i can't say no to him. i sent him a facebook and told him i missed him and he missed me to. now he's back, but we are back to just friends that have sex sometimes. i don't want to call it friends with benefits. i don't want to label it. i don't want to have to explain it to anyone. i don't want to defend myself when it comes to him.

i was honest. i told him a part of me will always be in love with him. the weight loss made the sex even greater, which i didn't realize was possible. i tell ya he knows my buttons and he pushes them expertly. it was so hot between us. i don't know what to do. i can't put pressure on either one of us. i don't want to get married or have kids so what am i giving up just by fucking around with him. i know my heart will jump in eventually and make a mess of things, but right now i just love the way he makes me feel.

i'm a lean mean walking machine!

i have been walking the fat right off of me!!!
i am shooting for 15-20 miles a week.
today i did 2 miles in 1 hour and 15 minutes.
i did another mile after i got back from running errands and once it cools off around 7pm i will walk the last two making this my first 5 mile day.

i'm loving it!

i did only sleep 3 hours last night, but i will blame sexual frustration on that. i think the walking helps to burn that off.
men call women teases, i think they need to look in the mirror first.
i got a hickey, i haven't had one of those since high school.
i have a feeling it will be a no go with the naughty neighbor, the competition is young, thin, blonde, tanned, and according to multiple sources quite nice.

it looks like she is moving in, oh well. it would have been a nice ride until it crashed and burned, like all my past relationships, doesn't matter what the label is, friends, friends with benefits, hook ups, boyfriends, fiancee's or husbands.

i also ran the car through the car wash, vacuumed it, got the kid's laptop a new charger. now we are watching 2 1/2 weeks, a classic! and then it is the grocery store, dinner, and my last walk of the night!

30 days no TV challenge

wow, it's been 30 days since i challenged myself not to watch TV. Although I am unable to get rid of the TV completely, my kid refuses, and I still watch DVD's/Movies, I feel that I've kicked the sitting in the front of TV for hours just flipping the channels for no reason.

I've done scripture study. I sit outside when it isn't raining, which means not alot lately. I walk the dog more. I have a clean house. I have been cooking more. I don't feel like I'm missing anything. I never did watch reality shows. And scripted TV is becoming redundant. How many cop/forensic type shows are on TV right now?

TV shows have lost their appeal to me. I check the news, mostly the weather online. I do listen to my music alot. I play SIMS 3 or bejeweled twist. I find everything I need doesn't involve watching TV. I am going to go see the last harry potter movie! And we did buy the Donny Darko DVD, but I haven't watched it yet. Everyone is surprised I've not see that movie. I've heard of it, but just never bothered to watch it. My kid says I'm going to like it. I did like the remake of Mad World, the song, they did for that movie. That's on my ipod.

I've lost more weight. I had gained a little, but now i'm down to 219 pounds. I have no idea why. I am just not hungry. Maybe my lack of vitamin d is impacting my appetite. I don't know. I'm just not hungry and nothing sounds good. And when I do eat, I eat alot less now. It's weird.

16.1 after 3 weeks!!!

It's only been 3 weeks on optifast 800, but i've lost 16.1 pounds. I feel lighter, fluffier, and just optimistic. I have my doubts at times. But the drops in my chlosterol and tryglceride numbers keep me moving forward on it. I gotta keep it going, my life depends on it!!!

Today was dental work day (boo) I got numbed up on my right side real good. I looked like I had a stroke! My kid laughed at me every time I spoke. But I strived to find my zen during the procedure. I got to listen to my Ipod, which I could barely hear, even cranked, over that UNGODLY sound of the water drill. Sounded like the noise the aliens make in the aliens movies before they attack. It actually hurt my ears. I'm on antibiotics, gotta use a special toothbrush, and dip it in prescription mouth wash. No toothpaste for the next 6-8 weeks. But I'm doing alright. The pain is minimal, which is nice. I gotta take motrin today and tomorrow to keep swelling down, but i expected it to be much worse. The lower numbing shots did hurt quite a bit. But I just zoned in on my tunes and repeated the word relax in my head. It worked for me!!! I'm good for 2 weeks then the left side gets it :(