Vacation Musings

We went for a in state vacation, just me and the kid.
We only went 2 hours away back down to where we used to live.
Sounded like a solid plan.
The place has an indoor water park.
There are tons of places to shop.

We'd visit family, shop, relax in the water park.
Simple, easy, relaxing.
No, No, and HELL NO!!!

I warned my kid there would be REAL children EVERYWHERE!

This place has an indoor waterpark, duh!

She thought the kids would just be in the waterpark.
They were all around the place, the halls, the foyer, the stairwells.
There are these wands they can buy and go on these adventures in the hallways.
We almost got whacked with some wands.
My kid who is a full grown adult and now was ready to kill some real children.

It didn't help that the kids were rude, pushy, and ran over you to get where they wanted to go.
And most parents were no where to be found.

It was not a peaceful place to stay, but she had her mind made up she wanted to stay there.
We could have stayed at her aunt's for free and just gone shopping.
There was one adult area, a hot tub, that teenagers and even 1 small child snuck into.
If my kid was say 5-11 years old it would have been the perfect place to take her.
But it was miserable.
There were children running around like crazy all hours.
The hallways were so loud you could hear through the walls.

I slept 14 hours when we got home.
All did when we got home was sleep and do laundry.
She was cranky the whole trip and I've been cranky the whole time we've been home.

I told her next vaction she is on her own.
she can take a friend and go all by herself.
I'm not paying that kind of money just to listen to her complain the whole time.

My back still aches from how soft the stupid mattress was!

And my kid has restated she is NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER HAVING CHILDREN LIKE EVER!!!!

I Made My Bed

i did have a sinus infection.
last week i worked from home the entire week taking antibiotics and pounding the good cough syrup.
i slept at least 15 hours a day.
i tried to stay out of the cold and keep warm.
i drank lots of fluids and rested the crap out of it.
i finally went back to the office this past Tuesday.
someone put a buzzard on my cube wall so it was staring at me.
my boss finally got rid of it.
every time i tried to move it, it would just appear again.
but honestly i feel all better finally!

it's hard to be sick.
every little thing made me tired.
sophie got restless because i cut back her walks.
she is such a friendly little dog.
i'm lucky to have her to keep the nights from being so lonely.

the biggest thing i'm battling again is my depression.
the sickness, my weight being stuck, and men are just getting me down.
i've been fighting my depressed moods off and on since october,
but i don't know how much longer i can do it on my own.
i'm hoping not to go back on medication.

my daughter will be 21 on March 4th.
i miss having a little one.
every body thinks i'm crazy to want another child.
i've always wanted more children.
i just kept waiting for the perfect situation.
that has proven to be non-existent.
i guess i lost my chance a long time ago.

my biggest regret is not having at least one more child.
but time only marches forward and i have to accept that i will spend the rest of my life alone.
i made my bed and now i must lie in it!

A sleepless night

can't sleep, it's 1:21 am, i just finished 30 minutes of exercise on the wii. i'm just now feeling tired and sweaty. i'm going to try and take a hot shower and sleep. I hope i get some sleep. if i can't sleep off a migraine it gets worse. and i wasn't able to even nap today. it's one of the ones where i close my eyes and it just squeezes my brain tighter, like a boa contricter, with every breath, it squeezes tighter until i have to get up and move because i feel like i can't breathe.

i have so many thoughts spinning around my head. it's like a chaotic gravity defying merry go round filled with men and situations. what i want, what i need, and never what i actaully have. i romantize my situations. these men don't love me. they want me. they want to control me, dominant me. i am alone, alway alone.

another ache to add to the monday pain

i slept on my shoulder wrong saturday into sunday. i could not find the proper otc med and/or ice/heat combo to make it better. so i thought, i will sleep on my right side instead of my left. it started out okay, but this morning i woke up on the sore shoulder. i am a left side sleeper! isn't weird how you sleep on a certain side of the bed (right for me) and then you sleep in a certain position (left side) without even thinking about it?!

when i was young i slept on my stomach all the time, but being pregnant at 17 broke me of that and ever since i've slept on my left side. it doesn't matter what sleeping position i start in, i wake up on my left side and i'm right handed so it makes no sense to me at all. so my shoulder hurts and aches, like i need another pain on top of my usual fms ones.

i am beginning to smell like icy hot even when i don't have any one. icy hot, ben gay, therma care patches, and ice packs when those don't work. i am on savella and it has helped a little, but when i hurt, nothing helps and it just sucks, plus it is a Monday!

but thus is my life and it could be worse, right!?

Father's Day 2011

I called Dad and wished him a Happy Father's Day!!
Last week we saw him and gave him the True Grit movie, a card, and his fave candy, Milk Duds! He said he liked the remake of True Grit better then the original. I'd have to take his word for it, since I've seen neither. I'm not a western movie fan at all!

Had my neices all weekend. We tried some new recipes in the kitchen. A Swiss Cake Roll pudding cake and some baked spaghetti, both were excellent, but not as pretty as the picture in the magazine. They are 12 and 15 and both of them go to sleep with the TV on. I don't see how they do that. I would wake up at 3AM and both the TV in the guest room and the TV in the living room would be on and they were both zonked out. I turned them off. Even, when I watched TV, I couldn't fall asleep with the TV on. I refused to let Gab watch TV in her room when she was little. I would play a lullaby tape or CD for her. She still pops in her Celtic Lullaby CD when she has trouble sleeping and she's 20!!!!

I am so tired. I finally get to get on the computer. I worked today and all I wanted to do was play my game but Allie played it yesterday and Lin played it today. So, it's Aunt Shannon's turn to play the game. Yay!!!