The Common Cold

i have a cold, so very common of me, i know.
i feel like my body is being attacked.
my little immune system tries to defend, but i'm not yet on the mend.
i feel detached and sedated, but i'm not medicated.
i worry if i don't eat that i'll waste away.

i have a sore throat.
i have a nasty cough.
i have aches and pains.
i have a stuffy nose.
no headache, that's new.
no fever too.

just a laundry list of hacking and achoo's.
this cold has made me blue.
i don't know what to do.
orange juice is my new best friend.
i'd really love a popsicle too.
i sit in silence zoned out in illness' space.
a look of abandonment rest upon my face.
i wish i could sleep more then an hour or two.

i have no idea why i'm trying to make all of this rhyme.
i don't even have two dimes.
all i want to do is sleep and dream of fine dining,
but all i can stomach is toast and frozen pineapple.
this cause is lost!
i am being held hostage by the common cold and i want my freedom!!!

Tummy Troubles

it's been rough since sunday.
my stomach does NOT agree with anything i do.
i belch, fart, get constipated, bloated, the runs, and just pain!
i didn't know gas could hurt so damn much.
i was popping gas x like vicoden at work so i wouldn't produce a methane cloud in my cubicle.
i don't know what i did or ate to start it.
sunday morning it was just killing me.
i couldn't poop to save my life.

so i popped some laxative.
and i still couldn't poop.
so i popped some more laxative.
then i couldn't stop pooping on monday.

the gas was so bad even the dog had to come up for air.
i smell and it lingers on my clothes.
this is just awful.
i know everybody poops, but is it so bad i want to do it on my usual schedule.

i know this is totally gross and way too much information,
but my tummy troubles are dominating my life.
i can't stay far from the bathroom.
i've gained 7 pounds.
and i'm not eating or drinking anything different.
i think i might have to fast friday and saturday to purge my system.

this sucks and stinks!

i eat the same stuff every day.
i drink the same stuff every day.
i might have to break down and get some of that activia crap.
i hate yogurt, but i saw they had it in drinks.
i might be able to suppress my gag reflex long enough to get that down.

woke up crying

i'm so very sad today. i woke up with tears running down my face. i had been dreaming earlier in the night of scott and happily ever after, but as the night progressed my dreams turned darker. i was in a hospital in a gown. i was frantically walking around endless corridors with doors that wouldn't open. i didn't know where i was, it was like every hospital i'd ever been in since i was a child was combined into one huge hospital in my head.

i was in alot of hospitals growing up with my mother's illness taking us lots of different places. dad and i would kill time by wondering aimlessly around these old and huge hospitals. we'd find chapels, and just empty spaces that we sometimes could never find again. i can't imagine my life being as sick as my mother was.

i hate hospitals. they smell like clean death. i woke up so sad, anxious, and just strung out with worry.

today, in a few minutes, i go back to the doctor for more testing on my sugar levels. my ac1 is 6.1 which indicates pre-diabetes.

i got books a tthe library on it and bought one at a store, plus i've been reading about it on the internet and all i can say is i'm so confused.
every book and site gives these steps to stopping or reversing pre-diabetes

1 - lose weight (even 10% of your body weight can help) --- i've lost 17% of my body weight this year

2 - exercise at least a 1/2 hour every day --- i exercise an hour every day

3 - eat a well balanced diet with limited starchy carbs -- i removed all "white" starchy carbs like potatoes from my diet months ago

4 - eat at regular 2-3 hour intervals (don't skip meals) - this is one i could work on, i eat when i'm hungry, but i always have breakfast, lunch and dinner

i just don't know what i'm doing wrong. i feel so frustrated. according to all the books and web sites my sugar should be fine.

i'm so freaked out, i was telling scott about it because he could tell i was upset and i started to cry.
he gave me a hug and said they can do things for this it's not the end of the world.
but i don't want to have to stick myself with some meter all day long and give myself shots or take pills.
i'm trying to have a baby here, this is the worst timing ever.

i have alot of questions for my doctor. it's like i just can't catch a break on my health.
first it was tryglcerides and chlosterol.
then it was my vitamin d
and now it's my sugar.

i fix one thing and another gets out of whack!!!!
i'm so very sad about that.

migraine took its toll

i got on the wii this morning and since tuesday i've lost 7.3 pounds due to my migraine.
i couldn't keep food down, it was either coming out of one end or the other.
now i'm trying to ease my way back into food.
i just had some cucumbers and water.
i have to go to the grocery.
i know i need to kick start my weight loss again because it had stalled, but this is NOT what I had in mind.

taking it easy this weekend.
it's going to be cold and rainy.
i'm going to clean and just avoid certain if not all people.
i'm going to get a hair cut.
and possibly color my hair.

here's hoping to a peaceful and relaxing weekend.

Mr. Sun I am so pissed off at u right now

my vitamin d is still way too low. so now i have to take 1,000 units a day plus the 50,000 units weekly. and if in 3 more months it isn't normal i have to have a bone scan to see if my bones have begun to thin. that scares the crap out of me. i have been sitting out in the sun a 1/2 hour every day in the early evening exposing as much skin as i can, i have been walking out in the sun every day with as much skin as possible exposed and it only went up 3 points from last time. I am NOT happy with Mr. Sun right now.

I hate fish. doc recommended i start eating fish like catfish, salmon, tuna with oil, my face said it all, doc was like i know u hate to eat fish. i hate to smell them, let alone eat them. they are disgusting!!!! I can't even take fish oil, it makes me sick, gives me a headache afterwards. Can you be allergic to fish?

i got another prescription to pick up and i have to find a vitamin d supplement with the 1,000 units in it! if pizza had vitamin D in it, i'd be set!

worry not my daughter

my kid is definitely going back to school in september!!!
what good news for her and me!
she got her acceptance letter for her program and next friday she takes her placement test.
we send in her deposit for a dorm room tomorrow!

i will have a calm quiet and peaceful house when september ends.

i am feeling better today, but still did not sleep well.
lots of up and down and my left side still hurts.
i only walked one mile yesterday.
i'm going to push for two miles today.

my couch gets fixed today, yipee!!!
life is good.

spring brings me headaches

my head has been aching since sunday. i think i gotta call the doc today and see if it's
A - a cold
B - another sinus infection (that would make 2 since Jan.)
C - an ear infection
D - allergies

the right side of my head over my eye, around my ear and down into my jaw and neck have been killing me. i've tried every non prescription pain reliever known to human kind since sunday and none work. i took claritin this morning in a final attempt to see if it's an allergy, but it hasn't worked.

i can't remember a time in my life when i did not get headaches!
migrains, tension headaches, flu, cold, sinus, allergies, etc...
if there's a headache to be gotten i get it and i just don't think that's fair. i have a friend that says she only gets a headache when she has a cold or the flu. i was jealous.

i tracked once how often i got a headaches in the course of a month, i had some sort of headache 26 out of 30 days that month!!! I've been cat scanned, MRI'd, etc... I'm told there is nothing wrong with my brain. but it hurts more often then not. I just need a brain transfer! Sign me up to be first in line for that medical experiment.