Tummy Troubles

it's been rough since sunday.
my stomach does NOT agree with anything i do.
i belch, fart, get constipated, bloated, the runs, and just pain!
i didn't know gas could hurt so damn much.
i was popping gas x like vicoden at work so i wouldn't produce a methane cloud in my cubicle.
i don't know what i did or ate to start it.
sunday morning it was just killing me.
i couldn't poop to save my life.

so i popped some laxative.
and i still couldn't poop.
so i popped some more laxative.
then i couldn't stop pooping on monday.

the gas was so bad even the dog had to come up for air.
i smell and it lingers on my clothes.
this is just awful.
i know everybody poops, but is it so bad i want to do it on my usual schedule.

i know this is totally gross and way too much information,
but my tummy troubles are dominating my life.
i can't stay far from the bathroom.
i've gained 7 pounds.
and i'm not eating or drinking anything different.
i think i might have to fast friday and saturday to purge my system.

this sucks and stinks!

i eat the same stuff every day.
i drink the same stuff every day.
i might have to break down and get some of that activia crap.
i hate yogurt, but i saw they had it in drinks.
i might be able to suppress my gag reflex long enough to get that down.

It's Explosive!!!!

I've felt out of sorts since yesterday. But no headache, no fever, no stomach cramping, no warning, today at lunch, I'm at DQ eating me a snickers blizzard, bacon cheeseburger, fries, and a dr. pepper and wham!!!! EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA!!! I crapped my pants in a DQ!!! How sad!

I rushed back to work, had to visit the bathroom again, skyped my boss that I had gotten violently ill at lunch and had to go work from home and I'd be back on after I cleaned up. I took a shower threw my clothes in the wash and worked from bed the rest of the afternoon. My kid found me some diarrhea tablets and it has subsided, but what a way to ruin a day.

I am debating if I should work from home again tomorrow or attempt to go in. I still have no headache and no fever, just the poops. I ate some macaroni and cheese and thus far have had no more explosions. I guess I'll have to wait and see if it goes away. I do hate surprises, especially explosive ones. My dad says the older you get the more you just can't trust a fart.