Tummy Troubles

it's been rough since sunday.
my stomach does NOT agree with anything i do.
i belch, fart, get constipated, bloated, the runs, and just pain!
i didn't know gas could hurt so damn much.
i was popping gas x like vicoden at work so i wouldn't produce a methane cloud in my cubicle.
i don't know what i did or ate to start it.
sunday morning it was just killing me.
i couldn't poop to save my life.

so i popped some laxative.
and i still couldn't poop.
so i popped some more laxative.
then i couldn't stop pooping on monday.

the gas was so bad even the dog had to come up for air.
i smell and it lingers on my clothes.
this is just awful.
i know everybody poops, but is it so bad i want to do it on my usual schedule.

i know this is totally gross and way too much information,
but my tummy troubles are dominating my life.
i can't stay far from the bathroom.
i've gained 7 pounds.
and i'm not eating or drinking anything different.
i think i might have to fast friday and saturday to purge my system.

this sucks and stinks!

i eat the same stuff every day.
i drink the same stuff every day.
i might have to break down and get some of that activia crap.
i hate yogurt, but i saw they had it in drinks.
i might be able to suppress my gag reflex long enough to get that down.

The common cold

i've lost 5.5 pounds in the past six days thanks to the common cold.
i sleep then i sleep some more.
i've been eating chicken noodle soup and that's about it.
so now i'm back down to my pre-birthday pig out weight.
not the best way to accomplish it but very effective.
i still am sick, but feel much better.

i will be able to take my first pregnancy test sunday.
i got my fingers crossed that it's positive.
i've been very careful with the cold medicine i've been taking.
i don't want to hurt a baby if i'm with child.
even though robitussin and tylenol haven't helped at all.

today i got to run to the store.
there's no food in the house.
i got to get a few things.
my kid is back from school for 3 weeks on saturday.
we are going to drive each other crazy.
i know it's a short trip to drive me off the rails of the crazy train, but she knows my buttons and she pushes them with glee!

scott has been flirty.
somehow i think we are going to start having sex again.
i guess he really can't keep it in his pants.
thank God for that horny bastard!!!
he's coming over today and possibly tomorrow.
so if i'm not pregnant, he's still a viable baby sperm donation specialist.

i tired to eat oatmeal for breakfast.
it is just nasty.
i don't like oatmeal.
not even in cookies.
it's like jello or yogurt.
i don't care how healthy it is for me, i don't like it, yuck!!!
so the dog ate most of it and she enjoyed that!