We Picked One, Finally!

We found 3 strong contenders Friday for our first house.
One was our favorite, we made an offer, they countered, and we accepted!
It looks like Monday I'll be sending in the earnest money and we will be closing late August.

I'm so excited!!!!

The only work this house needs is a fence for Sophie the Puggle to be contained.
And we don't have to do that right away.

We'd like to do little things here and there.
I'm not crazy about the sage green kitchen and the dark bedrooms.
Neutral colors but dark ones like gray.
So we will probably paint at least the kitchen and secondary bedrooms after we close.
But we don't have to right away, but I know the kid will want to paint her room.
Add a few ceiling fans, maybe eventually a deck with hot tub and french doors out off the kitchen to the deck.

I'm so excited!!!!

It has everything we were looking for at 1,620 square feet.

Every room has a walk in closet.
The bedrooms are good size.
The master has its own bathroom with a shower/tub combo.
There is an upstairs loft area for the kid to turn into her tv/study zone.
There's a really good size family/great room downstairs.
A gas fireplace, big windows, great appliances, 2 car attached garage.
It is in a nice neighborhood and it was built in 2006 so there's no major work pending.
The roof, furnace, water heater, floors all in great shape.

I'm so excited!!!!

the search is on!

i apologize in advance for this blog...i am typing with one hand, because i'm coloring my hair cherry auburn and my other hand has a glove on it covered in hair dye.

but i'm too excited to share that i've gotten my pre-approval on a fha home loan and the house hunting process has begun.
i hope to spend may and june if needed searching and finding the perfect home sweet home for me, sophie the puggle,
and the kid!

any tips, do's, don'ts, cautionary advice? please share...

i have implemented our own sequester in the household.
no extras, save money, what i've learned the past 2 weeks since i did the $ crackdown,
is that my kid and i have very different ideas on what is an extra.
she thinks eating at subway everyday instead of chipolte is enough of an effort in cutting out extra spending.
yes, that does save money, but so does packing your lunch and pop and snacks.
she isn't getting it, so now she is cut off and she has to use her "little bitty" paycheck (her words)
to go out to eat, buy those 1.50 20oz pops at works and her dilly bar runs to dq.
plus keep on putting gas in her car...
she's 22, i can't stop her from plowing thru her money like a turbo charged john deer tractor,
but she is no longer taking my money with her!!!

Summer Heat and Money Blues

the heat is getting to everyone.
people are snapping, cranky, and just unpleasant to be around.
i haven't seen my man in over a week.
he's working 70 hour weeks.
since he's not introduced me to his kids i can't see him when he's home with them.
i just miss him and that makes me cranky.
he says tomorrow definitely.
i just hate not being with him more.
i come in third with this one, kids, work and then me.
he says we will spend more time together once i'm pregnant.
that puts a lot of pressure on me to get pregnant.
i'm focusing my excess time into weight loss.
i'm hoping getting my bmi below 30 will help trigger ovulation.
he wants it to happen naturally, no fertility pills to help.
i'm hoping if after 6 months of trying he will change his mind.
we will have to see.
we've only been together 3 months now, so there's even more time ahead of us.

there never seems to be enough lately.
there's not enough money to pay all the bills.
i quit eating out to save money.
of course, the grocery bill went up.
now after nearly two weeks 95% of the food i bought is gone and we still have 2 days until i get paid and can go to the grocery store.

the kid doesn't begin her job until the 2nd week of july.
all she does is sit on her ass, watch tv, play on her laptop and eat.
i think that is the reason why 2 weeks worth of food barely lasted a week and two days.
i have to nag her to do anything else around her.
and nag her i do.

it's been too hot to walk even at 9pm at night.
it is the humidity that bothers me the most.
i hate feeling sticky.
and the next week it is going to very hot and sticky.
so i began my new work out routine, the wii.
an 1/2 hour in the morning and then in the evening.
maybe the kid will join me and she'll get off the couch!

my baby cousin turned 5.
everyone was telling her to make a wish.
she looked at me and asked what a wish was.
i told her it is something you want but don't have.
i told her to wish cousin shannon had a million bucks.
every one laughed.
i told her if she wanted something, like a new doll, or to spend all day in the pool, or to go see grandma, just make a wish, say i wish i had a new doll.
wishes are lucky on birthdays and shooting stars.
i don't think she quite got it, but i tried.
i miss having a little one to explain all those things too.

My Ass Got Fatter

i celebrated my kid's 21st birthday weekend, not in drink, but in food.
lots and lots of food.
we ate out all weekend.
we loved the cheesecake at the cheesecake factory.
my kid got her chipotle on, her fave.
and their was pizza and cake at her party.
it was a mellow family event.
all i did all weekend was eat and drive.

i put many miles on the car and 5 pounds on my body.
my ass got fatter.
it is weird how you lose weight and then when you gain some back it doesn't go back to the same places.
my tummy got a little rounder but my butt got HUGE!!!
so it is back to the program.
protein, veggies and fruits.
i go in a week to get my triglycerides, cholesterol, and vitamin d checked.
i'd hate to go back and have to be put back on meds cuz i can't keep the junk food out of my mouth.

i had a surprise though over the birthday weekend.
my 2nd ex-fiancee facebooked me and told me he was getting divorced.
i met him for breakfast on sunday.
he looks the same.
same smile, same brown eyes, he's filled out.
he was such a skinny thing back in the day.
it had been 18 years since we were a couple engaged.
we agreed we were both just really young.
we are talking and texting now.
i hope we can be friends.
i don't know if it'll ever be more then that.
but we still have some stuff in common as far as music and values.
it was good to talk to him.
he said i looked good and i was like he remembered me and that was a good thing.

this week my allergies have been kicking my butt.
but other then that we are back into our routine.
i know i'm so boring!
someone told me i was sexy, i think they were high :)
i've retired from dating.
doesn't mean i won't ever have sex again, cuz we all know you don't have to date to copulate ;)
i'm hoping for a quiet sunny weekend.
my kid is going home with one of her college friends.
i'm not completely broke, but i'm never rich.
everything is right where it should be and i can't complain.

Taxes are In FINALLY!!!

wow, the tax money finally came in.
last year it took a week, this year nearly a month, due to some glitch with the irs and the electronic files.
and this year i really needed that money like two weeks ago.
just shows you can't depend on the government.

the kid's jeep battery died.
got to take care of that.
and on sunday she's 21!!!!
i feel so old.

i need ensure, depends, a better memory and a new hip!

wow, i'm so excited, depressed, and ready for a diet dr. pepper.

will write more on monday after the big 21!!!

I Hate Owing Money

scott says there's no chance in hell he's the father.
that is most excellent news.
the paternity test bret wants should hold no surprises.
now i just have to twiddle my thumbs until august when the baby gets here.

i feel better now knowing it isn't scott's baby.
the whole situation with him lately has not good.
but sex only has never been something i've been good at.
i have too many emotions to not get emotionally attached to a man.
i'm not in love with him, but i do care about him.
i feel bad i haven't been able to pay him off for the jeep.

i bring home net what he makes gross but i never have any money.
i poorly manage my money.
i excel at spending it, but i can never hold on to it.
i will try to give him 200 bucks a paycheck until he's paid off.
and he really swears he's done with me now.

i should apologize for being such a bitch.
i don't think he deserved it.
i just feel bad for his live in girlfriend.
she thinks they are getting married and living happily ever after.
and if he's not having sex with me it will only be a matter of time before he fucks someone else.
he's a man whore, he said it himself.

i hate owing him money, i feel like he has power over me while i do.
i hate that i gave him so much control.
i handed myself to him on a silver platter and i didn't know all the rules.
the only person i should be angry with is myself.
i hate to share.

bret totally went off on me too.
i don't need this crap right now.
i want a paternity test.
if it's my baby i'll live with u and take care of the baby,
but that doesnt' make us a couple.

why do i only want to be with men that only want to have sex with me?

scott - has a live in girlfriend.

bret - is still hung up on lynn

my ex husband - i wasn't a man

his brother - i wasn't his wife nor the mother of his children

ron - i wasn't his mother

i always fall in love with men that cannot love me back.
but this baby will love me and i will love this baby with everything i have.
this will probably be my last child, this is it.
i have to be super mom to this kid.
i will matter to this baby.
i have a purpose again!

Time for some solitude

i'm peopled out!

why when i ask for the truth i get fed lies.
it's making me constipated with deceit.
scott said jackie said something to him about us.
so scott is mad at me and has cut me off.
not a huge loss since the sex was not good, but still it was sex.
scott and i talked quite a bit when we were switching out the car titles.
now i'm $400 short on rent, but i'm not stressed.
i was thinking we were doing this next weekend, but i guess not.

i asked jackie.
he calls me stupid, like buying the jeep was stupid.
jackie's mad about me because i asked cindy if she told jackie about me and scott.
not a huge loss there either since jackie is a schmuck.

me and my mouth are taking a vacation.
i don't go back to work until thursday.
the kid goes back to school this afternoon.
i have no reason to speak to anyone after that until thursday.
i'm going to bask in the bliss of my solitude.

it's raining all day today.
i did a 1/2 hour of exercise on the wii.
i'm watching my browns play at 1.
then the kid goes to the dorms and i go on mute.
unless it is a child or saying hi there's no need for me to chit chat.
i was being too social, it does NOT come naturally to me.

i am socially inapt, akward and i can't keep a secret.
now the whole apartment complex knows that.
at least i have bret to look forward on tuesday night.
maybe i will get an orgasim, maybe not.
i don't want to pressure him for sex.
he's got enough pressue on him with the court date.
i don't know what he's going to do if he doesn't get custody.

A Car, A Boy, and Sex

wow, thursday afternoon began a crazy weekend. scott showed up to get his money for the car.
he threw me face down on the bed, pulled my pants down, got busy, pulled my hair and choked me.
i ain't ever been taken like that and i LIKED it!!! damn!

after work i went and got the kid and her boyfriend. he's okay. of course, i'm not going to be crazy about the boy that took my daughter's virginity, but he's better then that douche she dated in high school. she's very bossy with him, but he stands up to her, which is exactly what she needs. but feeding them is expensive, not to mention she went to the doctor friday and she has bronchitis and a sinus infection, so i had to get her meds too. and he's got a cough, so i bought him cough drops and cough meds. he's going to the doctor next weekend. sophie the puggle really likes him, cuz he pets her all the time.

friday, scott came over and we went over to his best friends' house to get the title on the car. his friend and his wife seemed really nice. i didn't talk much, i just observed. he and scott have been best friends for over 15 years.
scott says he moved to ohio because his best friend did. and scott introduced his best friend to his wife when he worked with his wife. they're really close.

i wondered if they liked scott's current live in girlfriend. and if they like me or not. scott and i just talked while we were in the car. it was nice. we usually are busy fooling around and don't really talk.

i told him my kid is bossy with her boyfriend and he said she's dominant then, and i said, yes she takes after me.
he couldn't stop laughing, he said you aren't dominant, and i said i usually am the dominant one, but i'm not with you.
he is the exception to my one rule, to not be submissive to a man or let him have power over me.

he has shattered my one rule to a million pieces.

he didn't believe that i'm normally the dominant one in a relationship. if he talked to anyone i've dated in the past, except bret, he'd see different. i had such high hopes for bret being my one exception, but he was NOT dominant in the bedroom. it was a let down.

so saturday i went and got the temp tags for the car, my driver's license renewed, and my registration done. a very expensive trip, and next month to get the plates and registration on the new car is $110. my kid is always costing me money, but i love her.

we had to jump start the car because it had been sitting for a week. i put $20 of gas in it then they followed me to the dog park, because it has a huge parking lot for the kid to learn to drive the manual car in it. they let sophie play at the dog park then they practised driving. she keeps stalling it and had trouble with 3rd and 4th gear.

so i asked scott to come down and take her out for a driving lesson without the boyfriend. they were gone about an hour. he said she can do it, she just has to focus, he had her on a hill and she did fine. so he said let her drive to wal-mart with me in the car and don't say anything.

his exact words to me "get in, hold on, shut up"

i did that and the boyfriend kept talking. we almost rolled back into a car. so they did a chinese fire drill at a light. but it's progress!!!!

today they go have lunch with the boyfriend's mom, she hasn't met him yet. then they go back to campus. i told her she has to keep gas in the car. i will have my peace and quiet back by 3pm, yipee!!!!

just in time for me to sign into work!

Hot and Muggy

It's been hotter and muggier then TN on a August Day lately. I was hoping last nights storms would break it up, but nope. It's going to be 91 today and it is already very muggy outside. No dog park today. I don't need the dog to be covered in mud. I have so much to do. Cleaning, grocering, cooking, putting away, laundrying, dogging, i know some of these aren't actual verbs but i'm feeling lazy.

gotta decide if i want to up for another 13 months here at the apartment and take a $10 rent increase or switch month to month and get a $50 rent increase. If I actually had money saved towards moving I'd go month to month and find me a little house to rent with a yard for little ms. spoiled puppers dog. but since my bank account hovers between 0 and less then 0, I think I'll reup for 13 months and see if I can save the $1500 that I need to move. I won't be holding my breath. I seldom hang on to money long enough to do anything useful with it.

Plus, gab's college is coming back up in august. we still have recv'd no word on her financial aid package. this makes me nervous. tuition went up, i hope the financial aid did as well. plus there will be books and supplies to buy. at least this year we have alot of the stuff she already needs as far as towels and bedding go. she wants new clothes but i don't think that is going to happen.

well off to the shower then off to the grocery store. oh money, y do you leave me so quickly. u never stick around to play. it's all business for you. i miss my discretionary spending.

Sunday Blues

What a depressing rainy day in Ohio this Sunday!!! I ache all over. The house is a mess. I have no energy. I do declare this a down day. Sunday is bittersweet. It's my last day off for 5 whole days, so I should find a way to enjoy it, but Monday and the beginning of the work week weigh heavily on my mind.

It's not that I don't like my job, it has it's ups and downs just like I do. I just really wish I didn't need to work. I know the old saying, that idle hands are the devil's tools, but I'd like to find out.

The longest I've been unemployed since I started working at 16 was in 2008. And it was great, except for the fact I was broke and unemployment didn't cover the rent plus utilities and my kid wanted stupid things, like food to eat.

But alas, I've checked my lottery numbers and I'm still working poor. The sad story of my life will be that I worked and still didn't amount to anything.

if i had a million dollars....

oh my, watching the news about the fraud against Goldman-Sachs, and I'm disgusted. Ripping off hard working people just to make a buck is becoming America businesses new mission statement.

Enron, Bernie Madoff, now GS, it just won't ever end. I keep buying my lottery tickets that's the only way I could ever escape from my debt. Being unemployed for most of 2008 put me in a downward spiral that even though I've been working for over a year now, I still am seeing repercussions from my period of unemployment.

i know it sounds cliche, but if i had a million dollars, after the tithes, the taxes, and the clearing of debt i'd get a massage and pedicure every week and never have to clean my house again. It's the simple things in life that make life worth living and for me that's getting a good foot rub and having my toe nails painted some pretty kind of pink.