Summer Heat and Money Blues

the heat is getting to everyone.
people are snapping, cranky, and just unpleasant to be around.
i haven't seen my man in over a week.
he's working 70 hour weeks.
since he's not introduced me to his kids i can't see him when he's home with them.
i just miss him and that makes me cranky.
he says tomorrow definitely.
i just hate not being with him more.
i come in third with this one, kids, work and then me.
he says we will spend more time together once i'm pregnant.
that puts a lot of pressure on me to get pregnant.
i'm focusing my excess time into weight loss.
i'm hoping getting my bmi below 30 will help trigger ovulation.
he wants it to happen naturally, no fertility pills to help.
i'm hoping if after 6 months of trying he will change his mind.
we will have to see.
we've only been together 3 months now, so there's even more time ahead of us.

there never seems to be enough lately.
there's not enough money to pay all the bills.
i quit eating out to save money.
of course, the grocery bill went up.
now after nearly two weeks 95% of the food i bought is gone and we still have 2 days until i get paid and can go to the grocery store.

the kid doesn't begin her job until the 2nd week of july.
all she does is sit on her ass, watch tv, play on her laptop and eat.
i think that is the reason why 2 weeks worth of food barely lasted a week and two days.
i have to nag her to do anything else around her.
and nag her i do.

it's been too hot to walk even at 9pm at night.
it is the humidity that bothers me the most.
i hate feeling sticky.
and the next week it is going to very hot and sticky.
so i began my new work out routine, the wii.
an 1/2 hour in the morning and then in the evening.
maybe the kid will join me and she'll get off the couch!

my baby cousin turned 5.
everyone was telling her to make a wish.
she looked at me and asked what a wish was.
i told her it is something you want but don't have.
i told her to wish cousin shannon had a million bucks.
every one laughed.
i told her if she wanted something, like a new doll, or to spend all day in the pool, or to go see grandma, just make a wish, say i wish i had a new doll.
wishes are lucky on birthdays and shooting stars.
i don't think she quite got it, but i tried.
i miss having a little one to explain all those things too.

another muggy day

wow, it is muggy as hades out there today.
i ran to the grocery and it poured rain and dropped 10 degrees,
but 10 minutes after the rain stopped it was back to hot and humid.
i don't miss tv at all. the kid freaked when it went out for a couple of days.
i hope we pull it together enough to get her off to college in the fall, so i can get rid of the cable for good.

i think i will stay inside today and rest.
tomorrow is a big work day, it sucks that it's a sunday, but that is how it goes with computers.
sunday and holidays are prime implementations and upgrade days.
the dog is even not wanting to go outside, so u know it is that HOT!!!

ice cream sounds really really good right now!

Day 6 of my no tv challenge

Almost turned on the tv when i sat down to eat dinner, caught myself, some bad habits die hard!

work was frustrating, i had a miscommunication that resulted in some work having to be redone. i was talking oranges and they was talking apples. i just need to shake it off and accept i made a mistake and move on. it really was my fault.

so it is too hot and humid to go outside to unwind so i'm eating a tapioca snack pack and listening to the hum of the air conditioner. ah, the joy of air conditioning! God Bless the human being that invented it. Houses are built like little vacuum sealed look alike packages anymore. And would be unbearable without heat and air conditioning. I don't know how I survived my childhood with no air conditioning in the summer, well the house was old and had huge windows and was built to let air move around, but it still got really yucky hot inside the house sometimes.

my mind is burnt out right now. i think i will try to read some scripture, not sure if that will calm my mind or confuse me more. i guess i'm gonna find out.