The Cold Snow at our New Home

the snow has come twice now since we've moved into our house.
the winds have been fierce.
we've had the trash can and some chairs blown around.
one night i thought the big bad wolf outside trying to blow the house down.
the entire house shook, literally, it woke up the dog, the kid, and me.
i thought it was a tornado and i know what those are like.
but we survived and the roof survived.

it is scary to own this home.
the garage door is acting up when it is cold it won't close.
i haven't built up my reserves again for issues like this.
so i'm worried something will break and i won't be able to fix it.
scary and so real, no more calling the maintenance man
now i'm maintenance, and i suck with screws and bolts and nuts.
i'm not even allowed to operate power tools.
that stems from childhood, my dad tried to teach me but after several painful and expensive mishaps,
i was regulated to holding things, point the flashlight there, hold this up, move this over...
and i'm not that good at that.
i just don't have good mechanical skills.

i'm more of a thinker then a doer.
i think about doing things all the time.
i have some really great ideas.
but nothing ever gets done unless it urgently needs to.
i do so much at work that when i get home i don't want to do anything.
even if i enjoy it, it is still effort, time, and work.
i'm hoping i'll develop the do it yourself spirit, but i'm not holding my breath.

the last time someone let me use a glue gun i ended up being banned from crafts class and
a lady got 2nd degree burns on her hands...

i'm a one woman walking talking hazard waiting to happen.

Settling Down

The big move is done.
Objects placed around each room.
Almost feels like home.

Adjusting to the new night noises.
Wondering where this road leads.
I'm feeling accomplished and pleased.
This is good.
This is right.
This is where I want to be.

The kid is figuring out where to put her stuff.
She overtakes everything she touches.
The buffer is small but necessary.
She's not a child anymore, but a reluctant adult.

She craves my attention like a 3 year old.
I try my hardest to turn her away.
She has to stand on her own as much as I can get her to let me go.
Her red hair matches her quick temper and passionate emotions.
Every day there is some drama in her life that will undo her.
OSU is proving a testing ground for her patience which was always little.

Yes, we are influx.
Yes, we are taking on new challenges.
But I tell her, this is how a life gets lived, in motion, not in rest.
So we will see where we end up.
I hope for her and I both we enjoy the journey and love the destination.
We are settling down into our own for the first time ever home.
Time will tell, it always does.

Thanksgiving Eve

All thru the house a dog was pacing,
a kid was dancing with headphones on,
and i am blogging this thanksgiving eve.

i am thankful for electricity and my eccentricity.
i am thankful for my father.
i am thankful for my daughter.
i am thankful for my dog.
i am thankful for my friend and lover, Bret.

i am thankful for my good health.
i am thankful for my good job.
i am thankful i do not go hungry.
i am thankful i do not go cold.
i am thankful to have a home.

all thru the house we are celebrating.
the quiet, the rain, the life we live.
all is precious and dear.

i am thankful to be here.

Hot and Muggy

It's been hotter and muggier then TN on a August Day lately. I was hoping last nights storms would break it up, but nope. It's going to be 91 today and it is already very muggy outside. No dog park today. I don't need the dog to be covered in mud. I have so much to do. Cleaning, grocering, cooking, putting away, laundrying, dogging, i know some of these aren't actual verbs but i'm feeling lazy.

gotta decide if i want to up for another 13 months here at the apartment and take a $10 rent increase or switch month to month and get a $50 rent increase. If I actually had money saved towards moving I'd go month to month and find me a little house to rent with a yard for little ms. spoiled puppers dog. but since my bank account hovers between 0 and less then 0, I think I'll reup for 13 months and see if I can save the $1500 that I need to move. I won't be holding my breath. I seldom hang on to money long enough to do anything useful with it.

Plus, gab's college is coming back up in august. we still have recv'd no word on her financial aid package. this makes me nervous. tuition went up, i hope the financial aid did as well. plus there will be books and supplies to buy. at least this year we have alot of the stuff she already needs as far as towels and bedding go. she wants new clothes but i don't think that is going to happen.

well off to the shower then off to the grocery store. oh money, y do you leave me so quickly. u never stick around to play. it's all business for you. i miss my discretionary spending.

Simple Weekend Planned

This weekend I am striving towards simplicity. I will not go anywhere that isn't necessary. I will clean. I will declutter. I will organize. I will scrub. I will dust. I will vacuum. I will sweat. I will toil. I will sit down on Monday evening and be at peace in a clean home.

This is my goal for the long weekend. I am sick of tripping over suitcases and boxes. I am tired of hunting through a pile of clothes to find shorts or underwear. I need some order restored physically in this world to soothe me. I find the more chaos that physically surrounds me the more chaos I have inside my head.

When my world is dirty, my heart is aching and my mind cannot rest. I am by no means a neat freak, but stubbing toes really does suck!!!

Hiccups and 200 miles

I have put 200 miles on my car today and I have hiccups. I drove my kid down to her grandma's house. Then drove back, went to the grocery, put gas in the car and came home to find the dog had left a pile of doggie doo on the carpet. Then I walked her, cleaned up her mess, petted her because she was all hyped up and made pizza for dinner. I ate, walked the dog a 2nd time. Took my med then went to lay down. Then just as I got settled hoping for a nap, HICCUPS!!!!

I seldom get hiccups. My kid gets them all the time. I always tell her she's sucking in too much air. I think I laid down too soon after I ate. This is so annoying. I've tried holding my breath. Scaring myself (I looked in the mirror - just kidding), focused on the next hiccup, counted to 10 with deep breathing, laid with my head upside down from the couch!!!! Nothing worked, I still have them. I'm getting annoyed.

I hate hiccups!!!!

The Final Countdown

I'm so excited!!!! 24 hours from now my daughter will be home from her freshman year of college. It's an 7 hour round trip from here to Louisville, not to mention the ton of stairs we have to go up and down to load up all her stuff in Dad's mini-van, but I'm still so excited to be seeing her. I haven't seen her since the first week of March.

It's been so depressing not being with her every day. Sometimes she drives me nuts and other times she cracks me up. I get so bored without her. I guess I should've developed hobbies or kept up with friendships while I was raising her so I'd have something to do when she went away to college. But honestly, I thought she was going to a local college and going to live at home or at least be home every weekend.

But she's happy at her college in Louisville and she wants to be a lawyer right now. And more power to her. But she tells me no FREE legal advice. I'm going broke sending her to college and I get no free legal advice when she becomes a lawyer. Like I said she really cracks me up sometimes.