Monday RAW Adventure

So excited, me and the kid, are heading to Monday night RAW this coming Monday.
Yes, i watch wrestling and i like it ALOT!!!!
It isn't reality t.v. and it isn't so scripted that i have to give it a ton of thought either.
and it isn't UFC or MMA where there's real blood and guts all the time.
It's enough cheesy and physical that it meets my happy medium of mind numbing entertainment.
I go to enjoy it.

I go to forget that i got a pay cut last year that wiped out my last 6 years of raises.
I go to yell and scream and act goofy.
I go to look at the man candy.
I go to forget that most of the time my life is exceptionally boring.
I don't do much in the way of entertainment.
I seldom go out.

I'm going to start working on paying down my debt.
I'm going to focus on credit cards, there's only 2 so that I want done in 6 months.
Then i'm going to work on the car.
After the car is paid off I'm going to hit my last student loan.
Then my kid's car and student loans.
I'm hoping within 2-3 years with the exception of the home and of course our monthly bills like electricity to be debt free.

so entertainment will be scarce.
i have enough scrapbooking stuff to keep me busy for ages.
plus, now with scripture study class and church activities which are free that should be keeping me busy.
but i do love seeing the super hero movies on the big screen.
you really can't be that, the big ultimate screen with the surround sounds are awesome, but i really want to be debt free.
student loans for my daughter are already near $50K and she just informed me she wants to get her masters.
ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm so proud, i'm so proud, i am so proud!

but it so expensive.

so if i can start paying on them now and maybe by the time she gets that masters she will owe little to none on it that would be awesome.
now i know why God only blessed me with one child.
i do so much for her and i would do that for all my children i would need millions to raise more than one, lol.

we are blessed.

we have everything we need and most of what we want.

not that we have expensive taste. i get so excited when i buy a book. really i do. i'm such a geek.

i'll be the woman on raw with a roman reigns rocks sign and on the back it will say Hi Dad it's SIS!!!

I Hate Owing Money

scott says there's no chance in hell he's the father.
that is most excellent news.
the paternity test bret wants should hold no surprises.
now i just have to twiddle my thumbs until august when the baby gets here.

i feel better now knowing it isn't scott's baby.
the whole situation with him lately has not good.
but sex only has never been something i've been good at.
i have too many emotions to not get emotionally attached to a man.
i'm not in love with him, but i do care about him.
i feel bad i haven't been able to pay him off for the jeep.

i bring home net what he makes gross but i never have any money.
i poorly manage my money.
i excel at spending it, but i can never hold on to it.
i will try to give him 200 bucks a paycheck until he's paid off.
and he really swears he's done with me now.

i should apologize for being such a bitch.
i don't think he deserved it.
i just feel bad for his live in girlfriend.
she thinks they are getting married and living happily ever after.
and if he's not having sex with me it will only be a matter of time before he fucks someone else.
he's a man whore, he said it himself.

i hate owing him money, i feel like he has power over me while i do.
i hate that i gave him so much control.
i handed myself to him on a silver platter and i didn't know all the rules.
the only person i should be angry with is myself.
i hate to share.

bret totally went off on me too.
i don't need this crap right now.
i want a paternity test.
if it's my baby i'll live with u and take care of the baby,
but that doesnt' make us a couple.

why do i only want to be with men that only want to have sex with me?

scott - has a live in girlfriend.

bret - is still hung up on lynn

my ex husband - i wasn't a man

his brother - i wasn't his wife nor the mother of his children

ron - i wasn't his mother

i always fall in love with men that cannot love me back.
but this baby will love me and i will love this baby with everything i have.
this will probably be my last child, this is it.
i have to be super mom to this kid.
i will matter to this baby.
i have a purpose again!

if i had a million dollars....

oh my, watching the news about the fraud against Goldman-Sachs, and I'm disgusted. Ripping off hard working people just to make a buck is becoming America businesses new mission statement.

Enron, Bernie Madoff, now GS, it just won't ever end. I keep buying my lottery tickets that's the only way I could ever escape from my debt. Being unemployed for most of 2008 put me in a downward spiral that even though I've been working for over a year now, I still am seeing repercussions from my period of unemployment.

i know it sounds cliche, but if i had a million dollars, after the tithes, the taxes, and the clearing of debt i'd get a massage and pedicure every week and never have to clean my house again. It's the simple things in life that make life worth living and for me that's getting a good foot rub and having my toe nails painted some pretty kind of pink.