Being Gutted Like a Fish

The surgery got approved at the end of March i get gutted like a fish.
No more periods.
No more pressure on myself.
It will be a relief not to have a uterus or cervix.
I am nervous.
It is a big surgery with a lot of stitches.
I hope it goes well and i heal quickly.
Right now I'm trying hard not to catch anything.

My allergies and sinus' are giving my grief.
It is hard for me to stay well anymore.
I'm depressed again and I don't know why.
I'm getting a tax return that will cover almost all the deductible and out of pocket expenses.
I can set up a payment plan on the rest.

My dad will be here the entire week of my surgery.
We can go to the hockey game since it is two days before.
It is all falling into place.
But I'm anxious.
Being cut on make me that way.
I think that's normal and healthy.
I hope.

My friend had an ovarian cyst removed.
Her surgery went well.
She is in pain but not too badly.
I'm just a horrible patient.
I know that, my kid and dad really know that.
I'm awful to be around when I'm in pain and sick.
Pain in the ass can't even cover it.

I go in 3/27 i will be outpatient - overnight observe.
I go monday to do the consent papers and get the post op scheduled.
The doc will also get all the drugs called in so i can pick them up.
I have the pre op on 3/19 at the hospital.
If i have a fever or chest congestion or something shows up on the chest x-ray they won't do the surgery.
Hopefully, it will all be clear.

My stomach has hurt all day.
I think i'm ovulating, it's like my uterus knows i'm getting rid of it
and it is protesting.
My period was awful as usual.
At least I can give any pads I have left to my friend.
I will get back the $4K in cost in pads within 2 1/2 years.
Yes, that's how many pads i go through!!!!
I know right, ridiculous!

test results bad

well the doctor's nurse call at 9am yesterday and my head has been spinning every since. my right balance side is weak there might be a growth in my brain interferring with how it is working. they are sending my paperwork to the hospital and they would call me either yesterday (which they didn't) or monday to schedule an MRI with dye ASAP!!!

Nothing like freaking me out! I had an Aunt die from brain cancer at 47. She was falling over for no reason too. If I had a healthy family history I wouldn't be worried, but my family is NOT the healthy type. My Mom, and 2 of her sisters all died before or at age 50. Two of her other sisters have battled breast cancer and her only brother had a stroke in his 40's. The family is genetically unsound.

So I get to spend the whole weekend with my stomach tied in a knot. I hate to wait. Then I gotta schedule the test and then wait for the results. This is so frustrating. I wish they could just expedite the whole process. Do you have to cut my head open or not????