Being Gutted Like a Fish

The surgery got approved at the end of March i get gutted like a fish.
No more periods.
No more pressure on myself.
It will be a relief not to have a uterus or cervix.
I am nervous.
It is a big surgery with a lot of stitches.
I hope it goes well and i heal quickly.
Right now I'm trying hard not to catch anything.

My allergies and sinus' are giving my grief.
It is hard for me to stay well anymore.
I'm depressed again and I don't know why.
I'm getting a tax return that will cover almost all the deductible and out of pocket expenses.
I can set up a payment plan on the rest.

My dad will be here the entire week of my surgery.
We can go to the hockey game since it is two days before.
It is all falling into place.
But I'm anxious.
Being cut on make me that way.
I think that's normal and healthy.
I hope.

My friend had an ovarian cyst removed.
Her surgery went well.
She is in pain but not too badly.
I'm just a horrible patient.
I know that, my kid and dad really know that.
I'm awful to be around when I'm in pain and sick.
Pain in the ass can't even cover it.

I go in 3/27 i will be outpatient - overnight observe.
I go monday to do the consent papers and get the post op scheduled.
The doc will also get all the drugs called in so i can pick them up.
I have the pre op on 3/19 at the hospital.
If i have a fever or chest congestion or something shows up on the chest x-ray they won't do the surgery.
Hopefully, it will all be clear.

My stomach has hurt all day.
I think i'm ovulating, it's like my uterus knows i'm getting rid of it
and it is protesting.
My period was awful as usual.
At least I can give any pads I have left to my friend.
I will get back the $4K in cost in pads within 2 1/2 years.
Yes, that's how many pads i go through!!!!
I know right, ridiculous!

More Strange Dreams

i'm having the worst and weirdest dreams of my life.
i'm not sleeping well at all.
today i have the worst sinus headache ever.

last night i dreamed my cell phone rang and it showed it was my dad.
i pick it up and say hi dad.
then a woman begins to yell at me.
what r u doing with him?
you'll never keep a man if you keep giving them what they want.

i'm like who is this.
this is your mother.
i'm like but your dead.
seriously who is this and where's my dad.
she yells at me, just because i'm dead doesn't give you the right to not listen to me anymore.
i raised you to be better then how you're behaving.
if you'd taken my advice you'd be married and have a couple of kids.
what kind of example are you setting for my granddaughter.

then she hangs up.

i call back, it rings for forever then goes to a machine.
i call back a couple more times same thing.
so i call my brother who lives nearby.
i told him some crazy lady is in dad's house pretending to be our mother.
you need to go check on dad.
my brother says she called me too.
so he heads over to dad's house while i call my brother who is out of state
and he says the same nut job called to yell at him too.

my brother who went to check on my dad calls me.
tells me he found dad unconscious on the floor with the phone in his hand.
so i rush home.
dad is in the hospital he had a heart attack.
can this dream get any worse at this point!

we tell the police about the phone calls from the woman calling herself our mom.
they pull the phone records.
they happened right around the time of dad's heart attack.
we go into to see dad, he's in critical condition.
he's conscious but barely.
we ask him who the crazy lady was and if she attacked him.
he said it was your mom, she made me dial the phone so she could talk to you guys once more.
and boy she was pissed.
then he dies!

i wake up crying...
i really need to find out why i'm having these dreams.

the new guy sexually satisfies me.
i have no complaints there.
but his time is limited.
it's just sex.
so i think i know this too will blow up in my face.
my dreams are just trying to tell me that.
i just wish i'd frappin' ovulate so he could get me pregnant.

Sometimes it sucks to be a woman!

So I am treating my dad to a father's day weekend outing. He comes up Friday night so we can leave for the Columbus Zoo first thing in the morning to get a full day in. We go to eat some pizza, then we go see Toy Story 3. All is well. Dad is happy. We call it a night.

I wake up. Weather is so nice. A great breeze blowing, no rain in sight, it's not too hot. After taking Sophie to the dog park for 30 minutes, I get home and we get moving to the Zoo. The Zoo was great until around NOON!!! High NOON!!! The breeze vanishes it. The heat cranks up 15 degrees and the humidity doubles. We are all hot and sweaty. Zoo is not so much fun anymore. My hips are just aching. I feel like I'm going to puke. We stop to take a bathroom break around 1:30 after teh Gorilla's. My monthly gift has arrived from mother nature!!! Sometimes it sucks to be a woman!!!
Luckily, my dad is very understanding. The zoo was closing early at 3 anyway. We tried to go to the austraila exhibit and I just couldn't go any further. It was 2pm. so we all agreed to pack it up and head on out.

We went to City BBQ and had some chocolate ice cream next door at Graeter's. All was well. We got home. Dad loaded up and headed home. I don't think it was a bad trip, but it could have been better. I told Dad the zoo would be perfect if it was all insided and air conditioned!!! He thought that was funny.

Dad did have a interesting encounter with a silver back gorilla. He thought that was cool. The gorilla snuck up behind dad and when dad turned around looked at him and their eyes met the gorilla slammed his shoulder into the glass. It made a huge boom like a clap of thunder. Dad jumped and little girls screamed. The gorilla looked quite pleased with himself.