Sick and Cranky

i've lost five pounds since my last post.
i'm averaging about a pound a day and that's while i'm on my period.
it isn't easy to break myself of my lazy ways.
i've been fantasizing about covering myself in chocolate syrup and letting a certain male lick it off,
then i cover him and do the same.
sweet, sweet, dreams they are indeed.

but i stick to the plan i created for myself.
it doesn't help that i'm sick again.
this stupid cold i caught from a neighbor has taken up residency in my head.
i think now i have a sinus and/or ear infection.
so i need to get into the doctor this week.

i take my vitamins.
i'm eating healthy foods.
i'm exercising.
but i get sick so easily.
i catch any little thing i'm exposed to.
all my neighbor did was lean in and talk to me.

i think i'm going to have to start wearing one of those surgical masks.
or put myself in bubble.
i wonder how expensive bubbles are.
the bubble would never work, sophie the puggle would think i'm her new dog toy.
i see many issues with that situation.

i'm just trying to live my life the best way i can.
but i can't do anything right.
i fail at everything i try.

i fail in relationships.
i fail at sex.
i fail at getting healthy.
i fail at being a good mom.
i fail at saving money.
i fail at supporting myself.
i am a BIG FAT FAILURE!!!!

sickness makes me cranky!

Happy New Flu Year!!!

first i'd like to thank the rain showing up right around midnight so all the jack holes with their fireworks couldn't light them, thank you rain, take a bow. now i'd like the rain to stop, since it's been going for almost 8 hours now and my dog won't pee in it. she literally sniffs everywhere, shakes off her coat, comes in the house and pees on the carpet near the door. she'll pee in snow, but not rain. she's such a goofy girl.

my aches and pains are not as bad, but i'm throwing up snot now. but good new it's clear and white, so no infection. bad news is of course it hurts like hell to puke up snot, so my throat is on fire. plus, i pee myself a little when i sneeze real hard, puke, or just laugh to the point i can't breathe. so i have to have protection on all day today so i don't pee all over the furniture. i feel so old. this is all my kid's fault, i gave birth to her all naturally and they cut me so i wouldn't tear which weakened the muscles. i am doing those excerises for my vagina, but it's helped little. i'm not even 40 and i'm back in stupid diapers.

happy fracking new year to me :(