A Mishap at the Dentist

Today i went to get my teeth cleaned at the dentist. The dental hygenist can't get the water pick to work. So I have to rinse out with a cup. No big deal.
So she starts polishing my teeth and i feel something cold and wet on my legs and private area.
the water pick is shooting a steady stream of cold water onto my legs and private area.
she starts freaking out, grabs the water pick and drops it into the sink and runs out to get me a towel.
the water pick is shooting water up and out of the sink onto my chart and soaking it.
so i grab my chart and move it then i move the water pick so the water is going down into the sink.
she's really agitated now, but i can't stop laughing.
this type of thing happens to me all the time!!!

thankfully, i had on the track pants, but they were soaked and so were my panties.
i got home and changed, and hoped that was the most eventful part of my day, but it wasn't.

i ordered me a birthday present, a brand new ipad nano with the fitness chip in it.
it'll clip on and track your workouts, which i think is cool.
i double checked the address i saw on the screen and placed my order.
30 minutes later i checked my email and saw the confirmation email and the shipping address wasn't my current address!!!!
it's my old address, but the bill to address is correct.
the only address i was asked to verify was the bill to address, i thought i had checked the box that said use the bill to address as the ship to address, but guess not.

and the best part in less then 30 minutes it's already in shipping status so i can't change it.
i call the help line in a panic, i'm freaking out man,
the tech said she can't change it, but she put in notes to reroute it to my correct address.
i told her it's an apartment, what if they sign my name for it.
she says to watch the tracking on it, and if they sign my name for the delivery, i would call back and open a case, and i'd have to file fraud and theft charges against them to get a new one sent to me for no additional costs.

luckily, i still had my old landlords email address.
and luckily, he still reads his email and uses it and owns the property.
he contacted the current residents and asked them to refuse the delivery so it could reroute to me
and they agreed.

so here's hoping this rerouting thing works next week and i get my new ipod.
all my information is now correct up at apple.
the ipod is even engraved with my motto of inspiration, never quit, never surrender!
yes, i know i got it from galaxy quest, but i like it.

but i'm starting to wonder if bret's bad luck is contagious or if i'm so distracted by sexual thoughts of scott, what else am i gonna screw up
i got to get rid of these men, they are going to be the death of me.

Happy New Flu Year!!!

first i'd like to thank the rain showing up right around midnight so all the jack holes with their fireworks couldn't light them, thank you rain, take a bow. now i'd like the rain to stop, since it's been going for almost 8 hours now and my dog won't pee in it. she literally sniffs everywhere, shakes off her coat, comes in the house and pees on the carpet near the door. she'll pee in snow, but not rain. she's such a goofy girl.

my aches and pains are not as bad, but i'm throwing up snot now. but good new it's clear and white, so no infection. bad news is of course it hurts like hell to puke up snot, so my throat is on fire. plus, i pee myself a little when i sneeze real hard, puke, or just laugh to the point i can't breathe. so i have to have protection on all day today so i don't pee all over the furniture. i feel so old. this is all my kid's fault, i gave birth to her all naturally and they cut me so i wouldn't tear which weakened the muscles. i am doing those excerises for my vagina, but it's helped little. i'm not even 40 and i'm back in stupid diapers.

happy fracking new year to me :(