Catching Up

A breakup, a heat rash all over my belly, back, and ass, a pit bull attacks Sophie the Puggle... that was all in a week's time.

I've been recovery ever since.

My heat rash required staying out of the sun, there goes boosting my vitamin d, using benadryl, and trying not to itch.
benadryl, might as well be pot for me. it stones the hell out of me. i sit there and stare out to space drooling then eating, but i don't itch!

i'm still all broken out and i go to take sophie the puggle for walk and a neighbor's pitbull charges her and i pick sophie up to get them separated. the pit bull never bit, i think it was more about intimidation and submission, but poor sophie was freaked out. i got all scratched up on top of the heat rash. i hurt for days.

the owner apologized profusely. i did not call it in because the pit never bit, but i told him if one of the kids was walking sophie this would have been very bad. he said they'd more careful with her. their apartment door was open and they were going in and out when she saw sophie walking by and attacked. i kicked the pit to break it up, but it did not work. picking up sophie to break up the attack was the only thing i could think of, thankfully it worked!

work has been crazy, i will be in the office most of next week.

my kid started her job and is complaining, but reality is here. she can't stay in school forever, we can't afford it at all.

b. and i are talking. we are going to be friend's. my co-worker was messing with me on alot of stuff, just making crap up to get a rise out of me. he's like that. i don't like it when people play with other's emotions. i love b. and he loves me and it just got so messed up because other people messing with us. so we are talking and being friends and just caring about one another. he's not my boyfriend anymore, but he's still so much fun to be with.

it's funny how much time we spend planning our lives and then out of nowhere one little thing changes everything and all those plans are destroyed.

flexibility and adaptability are critical in this life!

Breaking Up Hurts

well, it is over!
and this one hurt, i cried, i still might cry.
and i'm so confused.
i don't understand why he broke it off.

we had moved passed the whole facebook of his ex-wife debacle.
we had moved passed my panic attack regarding him not communicating with me.
but my working with his best friend's brother is a deal breaker?

he says it's more drama and he's done with the drama.

life is drama!

it started out yesterday as a good day.
we were flirting.
it was good.
i go to lunch with the guys at work.
i'm talking about him like i have the past 4 months.
a co-worker goes which tire place does he work at,
i say the one near my house, he goes, so it's B.
and i said yeah, you know him.
and he said my brother and him are best buds.

so i text b. thinking my co-worker is pulling my leg
and my boyfriend goes to this...
wtf? are you stalking me and my friends now on line
just stop, etc....

i said no, i work with his brother.

do i get an apology, NO, i get, i guess i have trust issues.

so i say we both do and by the way,
does your best friend have video or pictures of me.

i know he shared some of them with his best friend and i was okay with that until i found out i work with his best friend's brother.

then my boyfriend wants to know everything i've said about him in the past 4 months to my co-worker, like i can remember?!?

my co-worker had texted his brother, what about i don't know, and his brother texted my boyfriend about it, and my boyfriend texted me and said it was too much drama and we were done.

yup, this is my life..

is this not the stupidest thing ever?

Fireworks but not the good kind

Wow, do i know how to make myself single.
my man is pissed at me.
i did go off on him, but he deserved it.
he's been ignoring me.

you know lots of things die from neglect, people, pets, plants, and relationships!
i texted him how i was feeling neglected and gave him a week to tell me what was going on with him or i just had to move on.
he does not like ultimatums at all.

he called my texts a manifesto, i'm not a unibomber.
the last 3 weeks he has stopped seeing me, stopped texting me and stopped calling me, in my experience that means you are dumped.
but in his world it just means he's too busy to bother.
then he tried to blame me for being pushy.
i was pushing to meet his boys -- FALSE!

he told me he wanted me to meet his boys before they started back to school so it didn't stress them too much.

i've never asked to meet the boys.
i've been pushing to see him so we can make a baby.
he says i'm pushing for something permanent.
hello, isn't having a baby permanent?!

then his ex-wife called having a melt down that she got a friend request from me on facebook, like that's the end of the world, he went off about that.
why does her facebook say she's still married and she lives with him?
is he even divorced and if he told her about me like he told me he did, why is she freaking out???

i think it's over.
i can't take this drama and he can't either.
i see him friday and i think we are slamming the brakes.
my biggest regret is i'm not pregnant.
and i will really miss the sex.
but my needs are too great.
he used to love that i wanted him all the time, but now it's being pushy!


AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Powerless in Ohio

a little after 5pm yesterday the power went out and did not come back until 7:30 this morning. I learned multiple things from this power outage -

1 - sleeping with windows open causes Sophie the Puggle to bark, growl, jump and be a pain in my ass over every little thing, it's 2am people go to BED!!!

2 - my now adult daughter is a big baby, she whines, whimpers, fusses, and cries. i thought i was going to have to change her underwear when it looked like we were going to get a tornado

3 - my boyfriend is an inattentive jackass, i texted him a simple question regarding if the hot water heater was electric to know if i could take a shower since i was sticky and sweaty from walking 2 miles and he still hasn't replied

4 - i am my own best friend, i walked 2 miles, read my natural light, and entertained myself quite well

our flashlights flash pink and purple and we did some groovy rave dancing with them.
i'm so tired from not having power i'm going to nap frequently today and do absolutely nothing!

Summer Heat and Money Blues

the heat is getting to everyone.
people are snapping, cranky, and just unpleasant to be around.
i haven't seen my man in over a week.
he's working 70 hour weeks.
since he's not introduced me to his kids i can't see him when he's home with them.
i just miss him and that makes me cranky.
he says tomorrow definitely.
i just hate not being with him more.
i come in third with this one, kids, work and then me.
he says we will spend more time together once i'm pregnant.
that puts a lot of pressure on me to get pregnant.
i'm focusing my excess time into weight loss.
i'm hoping getting my bmi below 30 will help trigger ovulation.
he wants it to happen naturally, no fertility pills to help.
i'm hoping if after 6 months of trying he will change his mind.
we will have to see.
we've only been together 3 months now, so there's even more time ahead of us.

there never seems to be enough lately.
there's not enough money to pay all the bills.
i quit eating out to save money.
of course, the grocery bill went up.
now after nearly two weeks 95% of the food i bought is gone and we still have 2 days until i get paid and can go to the grocery store.

the kid doesn't begin her job until the 2nd week of july.
all she does is sit on her ass, watch tv, play on her laptop and eat.
i think that is the reason why 2 weeks worth of food barely lasted a week and two days.
i have to nag her to do anything else around her.
and nag her i do.

it's been too hot to walk even at 9pm at night.
it is the humidity that bothers me the most.
i hate feeling sticky.
and the next week it is going to very hot and sticky.
so i began my new work out routine, the wii.
an 1/2 hour in the morning and then in the evening.
maybe the kid will join me and she'll get off the couch!

my baby cousin turned 5.
everyone was telling her to make a wish.
she looked at me and asked what a wish was.
i told her it is something you want but don't have.
i told her to wish cousin shannon had a million bucks.
every one laughed.
i told her if she wanted something, like a new doll, or to spend all day in the pool, or to go see grandma, just make a wish, say i wish i had a new doll.
wishes are lucky on birthdays and shooting stars.
i don't think she quite got it, but i tried.
i miss having a little one to explain all those things too.

The Common Cold

i have a cold, so very common of me, i know.
i feel like my body is being attacked.
my little immune system tries to defend, but i'm not yet on the mend.
i feel detached and sedated, but i'm not medicated.
i worry if i don't eat that i'll waste away.

i have a sore throat.
i have a nasty cough.
i have aches and pains.
i have a stuffy nose.
no headache, that's new.
no fever too.

just a laundry list of hacking and achoo's.
this cold has made me blue.
i don't know what to do.
orange juice is my new best friend.
i'd really love a popsicle too.
i sit in silence zoned out in illness' space.
a look of abandonment rest upon my face.
i wish i could sleep more then an hour or two.

i have no idea why i'm trying to make all of this rhyme.
i don't even have two dimes.
all i want to do is sleep and dream of fine dining,
but all i can stomach is toast and frozen pineapple.
this cause is lost!
i am being held hostage by the common cold and i want my freedom!!!

Neighbors and Drinking

Wow, sat around with some neighbors last night and they were drinking.
I kept telling them I'm NOT drinking because I'm trying to get pregnant.
The guys kept saying on purpose, why!
One of the neighbor woman wants one and she is like i know why.
they are cute, sweet, and adorable!

my friend and neighbor got totally trashed on about 3 glasses of wine.
another neighbor had to fireman then potato sack carry her home.
she texted me like an hour and half later saying she was puking.
this morning she still feels awful and she's NEVER drinking again.
I'll believe that when I see it.
I've said the same thing myself many times.

it's is interesting to be not drinking surrounded by drunk people.
i found it quite entertaining.
glasses got broken, men were hitting each other, woman were crying.
some of the guys almost cried.
inner secrets were being spilled.
it was all very dramatic.
and i remember and they probably don't.

interesting indeed :)