Settling Down

The big move is done.
Objects placed around each room.
Almost feels like home.

Adjusting to the new night noises.
Wondering where this road leads.
I'm feeling accomplished and pleased.
This is good.
This is right.
This is where I want to be.

The kid is figuring out where to put her stuff.
She overtakes everything she touches.
The buffer is small but necessary.
She's not a child anymore, but a reluctant adult.

She craves my attention like a 3 year old.
I try my hardest to turn her away.
She has to stand on her own as much as I can get her to let me go.
Her red hair matches her quick temper and passionate emotions.
Every day there is some drama in her life that will undo her.
OSU is proving a testing ground for her patience which was always little.

Yes, we are influx.
Yes, we are taking on new challenges.
But I tell her, this is how a life gets lived, in motion, not in rest.
So we will see where we end up.
I hope for her and I both we enjoy the journey and love the destination.
We are settling down into our own for the first time ever home.
Time will tell, it always does.

Moving and Moving some More

We closed on the house a week ago Thursday and have in a constant state of moving ever since.
I've moved 99% of it myself.
I haven't had this much of a work out in ages.
I even took apart and moved the kitchen table and put it back together.
I feel like Wonder Bitch!!!
Cause all the aches and pains are making me so cranky.

This is a good change that I embrace.
My hope is to be completely over at the new house by the end of September.
At some point I will have to enlist help for the really big pieces of furniture.
I'm calling moving companies for that and they aren't cheap.
But to spare my back it might be worth it.

Tomorrow I take advantage of the Labor day holiday to move the computer and all its components to the new house.
I've been sleeping over there on a twin bed with Sophie the Puggle.
Talk about being squeezed for room.
Can't wait until we have the queen bed over there.
I think the dog and I both miss it.

Today is church, then taking my clean clothes and dresser drawers over to the new house.

I will feel a true sense of accomplishment if I can get everything but the really heavy stuffed moved myself.
The more time I spend in the house the more I love it.
I hate moving but this is worth it.

Diabetes and Me

Well, it has finally happened, I was diagnosed with Diabetes.
Sugar and I have to break up.
This will be the hardest thing I will ever have to do.
I don't need medicine or shots.
And I plan to keep it that way.

I also was prescribed medicine to help with my anxiety, mood swings, and sleep problems.
I haven't had a restful night's sleep in months.
I feel like an Alien living in my own body at times.
I drop things. I can't form sentences. I can't think of simple words.
I get confused. I zone out. I take twice as long to complete anything.

I'm surrounded by stress.
Work is stressful.
Buying a house is financially stressful.
My kid is stressful.
My coping skills have been tapped out.
I feel like I'm being attacked from all sides.
I even feel like Sophie the Puggle has been too demanding lately.

I have no patience.
I just want to curl in a ball in my room and never come out.
I've gained 25 pounds since March.
I have been eating sweets, carbs, and fatty foods because they comfort me.
And now I have to pull my head out of my ass and knock it off.
I don't have a death wish, but at times I realize I am eating myself to death.

The kid and I have given up pop.
She drank regular and I can tell she has lost weight.
I drank diet and I haven't lost a pound.
I do notice I don't crave sweets as much.

I can get control of my eating.
I ordered a diabetic food tracker and signed up for an on-line diabetes management site.
I think I'm going to try and find a class to take in Jan. after all the moving has settled down.
I close on the house Thursday.
Then I will spend weeks moving and unpacking and cleaning.
I can do this. I just have to keep reminding myself I can do this.

In Process

wow, buying a house is a pain in the house.
we had the inspection yesterday, radon was high, we can have that fixed after we close because there's a fix close on it from the seller.
and there a few little things to get fixed.
all the loan paperwork is in and goes to the underwriter on monday.
i hope we close the week of august 19th.
took a lot of pictures during the inspection yesterday.
i was starting to forget what the house looked like.
i got to keep packing and getting ready to move.

i'm excited but cautious at the same time.
until we close i'm going to be worried something will go wrong.
i worry about the littlest stuff all the time.
i can't help that it is how i've always been wired.

my current place is full of filled boxes.
i keep tripping over stuff.
my kid wants to buy stuff and i keep telling her to wait until we move.
i don't want to buy stuff and just have to move it to the new place.
she's got osu class starting the end of august as well.
she wants to get her books and parking pass and stuff.
i told her we have to wait.
i'm not made out of money.
she has a job.
she needs to buy those things with her cash not mine.

fencing the yard will be around 5K.
we will have to start saving for that.
i hope to be able to fence by March/April.
but at least we can extend sophie's runner all the way out.
it is folded in half now.
so she will be able to explore most of her new territory.
so much to do!!!
i'm major stress filled anxiety warped and freaked out!

We Picked One, Finally!

We found 3 strong contenders Friday for our first house.
One was our favorite, we made an offer, they countered, and we accepted!
It looks like Monday I'll be sending in the earnest money and we will be closing late August.

I'm so excited!!!!

The only work this house needs is a fence for Sophie the Puggle to be contained.
And we don't have to do that right away.

We'd like to do little things here and there.
I'm not crazy about the sage green kitchen and the dark bedrooms.
Neutral colors but dark ones like gray.
So we will probably paint at least the kitchen and secondary bedrooms after we close.
But we don't have to right away, but I know the kid will want to paint her room.
Add a few ceiling fans, maybe eventually a deck with hot tub and french doors out off the kitchen to the deck.

I'm so excited!!!!

It has everything we were looking for at 1,620 square feet.

Every room has a walk in closet.
The bedrooms are good size.
The master has its own bathroom with a shower/tub combo.
There is an upstairs loft area for the kid to turn into her tv/study zone.
There's a really good size family/great room downstairs.
A gas fireplace, big windows, great appliances, 2 car attached garage.
It is in a nice neighborhood and it was built in 2006 so there's no major work pending.
The roof, furnace, water heater, floors all in great shape.

I'm so excited!!!!

Independence Day Blues

Happy Independence Day my fellow Americans!
Please blow up things responsibly!

I'm so depressed today.
I have the right to be depressed.
I have the right to pursue happiness.
You notice the U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights don't even mention happiness only the Declaration of Independence does and it only says it is a right to pursue it.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness" - Declaration of Independence.

The United States of America began with the best of intentions and the noblest of purposes and now it is a mess, but I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

We might have lost our way some but we still believe in freedom and freedom is a beautiful and rare thing in today's world.

I have choices.
I might make horrible choices, but that is my right.
I don't have to cover my head or body and only show my eyes.
I can read, work and drive a car.
I can marry or not marry whom ever I want.
I can have sex with whom ever I want.
Sure, I might burn in Hell, but again it is my decisions to make.

I am blessed to live in a country where I have so much freedom and so many choices.
I make mistakes, but I love that I can work, pay my own way and be my own woman.
I am important and I do matter and I do contribute to society in a positive way.
I don't need a man to hold my hand, protect me, or provide for me.

God Bless America!
And I bless God!

Cramps and Boredom

well my female cycle was late and for some reason it has come with a fury.
i'm cramping, bleeding through pads, and i hurt like crazy.
i try all the pms pills but they don't help.
i have no appetite, no joy, no hope, no desire to move.
i just want to stare into the inside of my eyelids and not sleep.
i love this boredom because i choose it.

still no house.
we are on hold until the end of july.
i feel like goldilocks, this house is too small,
this house is too big, there's a basement, there's a funky smell, etc..
the one house we wanted we got outbid on, oh well.
maybe the summer we will have better luck and find that one house that is for us.

so today the big plan is to do laundry and be lazy.
i think i can do it!