i strongly dislike days like today.. everything was going smoothly and quietly, then something at work breaks. and now it is rush, rush, rush. i don't handle stress like that well. but i did alot of deep breathing and managed to get through it. but it did make me cranky.
i looked up tri-polar on the internet, it's a combo of bi-polar and borderline personality disorder, which i do have both.
out of the 15 signs/symptoms they listed, i go through 12 of them on a regular basis. but to me that is just life and status quo.
i'd go back to the shrink if i could afford it, but my insurance barely cover's mental health. it is too expensive to be mentally ill today. so i'm stopping right now because i just can't afford it. where's the off switch???
i wish it was that easy.
i am swinging low right now. feeling down about myself. feeling lonely, unloved, empty, and just totally bummed. yesterday i did not feel this way. i think it is because i'm tired. work was crazy and that makes me tired. and when i get tired i can't cope with anything.
so i think i'll just read some scriptures from the book of Job and go to bed early. tomorrow is another day, and i hope it is a better day.
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