damn pizza rolls! i had some sunday, thought they were cooled bit into one and had to spit it out, too hot, dog did the same. had to go to the dentist cuz my mouth kept bleeding and 2nd degree burns and blisters on the right side in the back! my pizza addiction will kill me one day!
now i have to use this prescription mouth wash,dip a cotton ball in it, and hold it on the blisters for at least a minute 2 times a day.
gargle with luke warm salt water 3 times a day.
avoid anything sticky, hard, crunchy, salty, and citrus
(this will help with the weight loss plan)
keep my tooth brush off of the gums on that side
so for the next 7-10 days this is going to suck!
so the blister on my foot is healing and now i have blisters in my mouth healing. and my period zit on the side of my forehead, plus my period and its delightful cramps all in the same week. why doesn't God just smote me now????
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
dog park kind of day
it is beautiful outside. a perfect fall type of day. a great breeze and just enough heat as to not be cold. so i packed sophie up and we went to the dog park. i walk 2 miles on my bum foot and she ran and frolicked with the other pups. now we are chilling and she's napping and life is good.
my foot is getting better. i keep it covered with gauze and neosporin until bed. then i leave it uncovered with the neosporin on it. it burns less, but the newly exposed layer of skin is still very red.
i am reaching a place in the pain that is tolerable for me. i've been reading C.S. Lewis' book The Problem of Pain. I find it interesting. I am struggling with my faith right now. I know God exists. I have never doubted that, but having bi-polar and borderline personality disorder I often feel that I am unworthy, empty, useless, small, and forsaken.
I wonder why I must suffer in so much pain, both physical and mental, if God loves me. Of course, the book of Job, is a clear example of testing, enduring, and perserverance. But lately, I started to once again feel disconnected, not just from God, but from all the people who surround me. I just wanted to be left alone.
These emotions aren't new to me. I often isolate myself. I justify these action by telling myself that if I am alone, the only person I can hurt is myself, but I end up hurting the two people who love me the most. My kid and my Dad, are the ones that take the most punishment from my "moods".
i've seen disappointment on my Dad's face more time then i can count. My daughter just shakes her head and says there is something wrong with you. I don't know how to make things better for them. I am this emotionally raw creature that has yet to be contained, tamed, or restrained. Every time i try to better myself, i get scared, and revert back to what is familiar.
i have so many thoughts twirling in chaotic dances in my head. i wish i could capture one and hold onto it until it finished its dance, but i am never able to keep what i want the most. To quote the book "...the doors of hell are locked on the inside."
if i surrender completely to God, as the book suggests, to be healed, then i admit i have no control over anything, including myself. now i see why God loses so many of us. i know God can run my life better then I can, but I don't want to bother him with my mundane details. I am back to feeling like a burden to him. This thinking keeps me from embracing His love to the fullest, but I don't know how to break the cycle. I feel like i'm chasing my own tail all the time.
my foot is getting better. i keep it covered with gauze and neosporin until bed. then i leave it uncovered with the neosporin on it. it burns less, but the newly exposed layer of skin is still very red.
i am reaching a place in the pain that is tolerable for me. i've been reading C.S. Lewis' book The Problem of Pain. I find it interesting. I am struggling with my faith right now. I know God exists. I have never doubted that, but having bi-polar and borderline personality disorder I often feel that I am unworthy, empty, useless, small, and forsaken.
I wonder why I must suffer in so much pain, both physical and mental, if God loves me. Of course, the book of Job, is a clear example of testing, enduring, and perserverance. But lately, I started to once again feel disconnected, not just from God, but from all the people who surround me. I just wanted to be left alone.
These emotions aren't new to me. I often isolate myself. I justify these action by telling myself that if I am alone, the only person I can hurt is myself, but I end up hurting the two people who love me the most. My kid and my Dad, are the ones that take the most punishment from my "moods".
i've seen disappointment on my Dad's face more time then i can count. My daughter just shakes her head and says there is something wrong with you. I don't know how to make things better for them. I am this emotionally raw creature that has yet to be contained, tamed, or restrained. Every time i try to better myself, i get scared, and revert back to what is familiar.
i have so many thoughts twirling in chaotic dances in my head. i wish i could capture one and hold onto it until it finished its dance, but i am never able to keep what i want the most. To quote the book "...the doors of hell are locked on the inside."
if i surrender completely to God, as the book suggests, to be healed, then i admit i have no control over anything, including myself. now i see why God loses so many of us. i know God can run my life better then I can, but I don't want to bother him with my mundane details. I am back to feeling like a burden to him. This thinking keeps me from embracing His love to the fullest, but I don't know how to break the cycle. I feel like i'm chasing my own tail all the time.
Friday, August 26, 2011
the blister!!!
well walking is out the window. i put the blister bandage over my expanding blister so i could walk around with the kid at her new school for orientation and registration. i thought it was doing okay. we walked alot.
i get home and go to take the bandage off and check the blister and the bandage had melted into the blister. I had to painfully pull off what i could and the blister came off with it. then i had to cut off the rest for easily to get the rest of the bandage off, but all the skin came off with it.
now i am in alot of pain and the bottom of my foot is red and raw. it is starting to burn and throb alot. and of course, it is a friday so the doctor is closed until monday.
i will just have to suck it up and keep my foot up all weekend. at least my kid is still home for 3 weeks to take care of me. but only if i threaten to not give her any extra money when she goes to school. yup, she really really does not care that i hurt.
whenever i try to do right or good, it always comes back around to hurt me in some way!!!!
i get home and go to take the bandage off and check the blister and the bandage had melted into the blister. I had to painfully pull off what i could and the blister came off with it. then i had to cut off the rest for easily to get the rest of the bandage off, but all the skin came off with it.
now i am in alot of pain and the bottom of my foot is red and raw. it is starting to burn and throb alot. and of course, it is a friday so the doctor is closed until monday.
i will just have to suck it up and keep my foot up all weekend. at least my kid is still home for 3 weeks to take care of me. but only if i threaten to not give her any extra money when she goes to school. yup, she really really does not care that i hurt.
whenever i try to do right or good, it always comes back around to hurt me in some way!!!!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
shake, rattle and roll, it's an earthquake baby!
5.9 quake in VA.
we live near columbus ohio and i didn't feel anything, but my kid did. it's weird because we are in the same house, the dog barked and growled, i wondered why the trees were shaking. my co-worker in NJ had her Mom and husband call her in a panic. they both felt the earthquake, my co-worker didn't feel it either. maybe because we are so focused on our work ;)
my kid is now convinced 2012 is the end of days.
she can be so silly.
i told her if there is a natural disaster of worldly proportions, i just want to die in the first wave. i could not bare to live without functioning bathrooms and no food and/or water.
my middle name is irene, i'm so excited i finally got a hurricane and she looks like she's going to do some damage too. weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
i know i'm weird to be cheering for a hurricane, it's not that i want anyone to get hurt, i just like the idea of destruction, not the actual application of it.
i've often been compared to hurricanes and tornadoes. i was once referred to as chaos in solid form. it's the mood swings, i'm up then down, then i turn around a shake it like i'm jacked up on crack.
man -- i am in a mood today. co-worker told me to go home if i was sick, i just said my muscles hurt from all the walking. and he told me to drink a red bull, and i said, why, i'm being quiet cuz i hurt, and then he changed his mind and said he preferred the quiet.
the neighbor has me all confused. i told him i just want to be neighbors again. he and his "good friend" look happy and in love, she is such a blind idiot. i feel sorry for her. i think i can behave myself as long as he doesn't touch me. i feel like i'm in the middle of a hurricane and a earthquake combined when he touches me. the hickey he gave me is almost gone now. i'm such a horny slut, i hate myself.
we live near columbus ohio and i didn't feel anything, but my kid did. it's weird because we are in the same house, the dog barked and growled, i wondered why the trees were shaking. my co-worker in NJ had her Mom and husband call her in a panic. they both felt the earthquake, my co-worker didn't feel it either. maybe because we are so focused on our work ;)
my kid is now convinced 2012 is the end of days.
she can be so silly.
i told her if there is a natural disaster of worldly proportions, i just want to die in the first wave. i could not bare to live without functioning bathrooms and no food and/or water.
my middle name is irene, i'm so excited i finally got a hurricane and she looks like she's going to do some damage too. weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
i know i'm weird to be cheering for a hurricane, it's not that i want anyone to get hurt, i just like the idea of destruction, not the actual application of it.
i've often been compared to hurricanes and tornadoes. i was once referred to as chaos in solid form. it's the mood swings, i'm up then down, then i turn around a shake it like i'm jacked up on crack.
man -- i am in a mood today. co-worker told me to go home if i was sick, i just said my muscles hurt from all the walking. and he told me to drink a red bull, and i said, why, i'm being quiet cuz i hurt, and then he changed his mind and said he preferred the quiet.
the neighbor has me all confused. i told him i just want to be neighbors again. he and his "good friend" look happy and in love, she is such a blind idiot. i feel sorry for her. i think i can behave myself as long as he doesn't touch me. i feel like i'm in the middle of a hurricane and a earthquake combined when he touches me. the hickey he gave me is almost gone now. i'm such a horny slut, i hate myself.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
the morning after jack
well i passed out around 6pm, with only 4 miles walked for the day.
i woke up near midnight, all aches and pains gone, thank you jack daniels.
but my memory is hazy, but whisky does NOT give me a hang over.
so i felt great, had a pb and nutella sandwich, some milk, and let the dog out.
i checked on the kid, she says i was too funny. then i went back to bed and slept through the night with no issues.
it started storming overnight and it's raining today, so i will have to get my exercise in on the wii.
i don't like to self-medicate, but even a urgent care visit is expensive and all they would have given me is 800 strenght ib profen, which i had already tried for the past two days and it did not work. but the booze took care of it, it helped me sleep too. i was falling into insomnia again. i hate when that happens.
today will be a better day. i'm going to relax, we exercise, and just enjoy the moments.
i woke up near midnight, all aches and pains gone, thank you jack daniels.
but my memory is hazy, but whisky does NOT give me a hang over.
so i felt great, had a pb and nutella sandwich, some milk, and let the dog out.
i checked on the kid, she says i was too funny. then i went back to bed and slept through the night with no issues.
it started storming overnight and it's raining today, so i will have to get my exercise in on the wii.
i don't like to self-medicate, but even a urgent care visit is expensive and all they would have given me is 800 strenght ib profen, which i had already tried for the past two days and it did not work. but the booze took care of it, it helped me sleep too. i was falling into insomnia again. i hate when that happens.
today will be a better day. i'm going to relax, we exercise, and just enjoy the moments.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
self medication is grand
so my walking has resulted in aches and pains,
so i decided to self medicate with jack daniels and dt. cherry coke.
i'm feelign fine, no worries, no crimes, just chilling with my glass, jack, dt. cherry zero, and ice baby.
my child is amused, don't ask me to utilize my balance, it has fled my intoxicated jurisdiction. life is beautiful, even if it is crooked. i luv me right now. i even held my tongue agaist that blonde skinny cow.
i just need a good fuck,but i'm out of luck.
this is what the devil would call a victory, but i refer to it as a let down in the pathetic american medical system.
i would have gone to the urgent care for my strained back,
if we had universal health care i'd have them take a look at my back!
so i decided to self medicate with jack daniels and dt. cherry coke.
i'm feelign fine, no worries, no crimes, just chilling with my glass, jack, dt. cherry zero, and ice baby.
my child is amused, don't ask me to utilize my balance, it has fled my intoxicated jurisdiction. life is beautiful, even if it is crooked. i luv me right now. i even held my tongue agaist that blonde skinny cow.
i just need a good fuck,but i'm out of luck.
this is what the devil would call a victory, but i refer to it as a let down in the pathetic american medical system.
i would have gone to the urgent care for my strained back,
if we had universal health care i'd have them take a look at my back!
i'm a lean mean walking machine!
i have been walking the fat right off of me!!!
i am shooting for 15-20 miles a week.
today i did 2 miles in 1 hour and 15 minutes.
i did another mile after i got back from running errands and once it cools off around 7pm i will walk the last two making this my first 5 mile day.
i'm loving it!
i did only sleep 3 hours last night, but i will blame sexual frustration on that. i think the walking helps to burn that off.
men call women teases, i think they need to look in the mirror first.
i got a hickey, i haven't had one of those since high school.
i have a feeling it will be a no go with the naughty neighbor, the competition is young, thin, blonde, tanned, and according to multiple sources quite nice.
it looks like she is moving in, oh well. it would have been a nice ride until it crashed and burned, like all my past relationships, doesn't matter what the label is, friends, friends with benefits, hook ups, boyfriends, fiancee's or husbands.
i also ran the car through the car wash, vacuumed it, got the kid's laptop a new charger. now we are watching 2 1/2 weeks, a classic! and then it is the grocery store, dinner, and my last walk of the night!
i am shooting for 15-20 miles a week.
today i did 2 miles in 1 hour and 15 minutes.
i did another mile after i got back from running errands and once it cools off around 7pm i will walk the last two making this my first 5 mile day.
i'm loving it!
i did only sleep 3 hours last night, but i will blame sexual frustration on that. i think the walking helps to burn that off.
men call women teases, i think they need to look in the mirror first.
i got a hickey, i haven't had one of those since high school.
i have a feeling it will be a no go with the naughty neighbor, the competition is young, thin, blonde, tanned, and according to multiple sources quite nice.
it looks like she is moving in, oh well. it would have been a nice ride until it crashed and burned, like all my past relationships, doesn't matter what the label is, friends, friends with benefits, hook ups, boyfriends, fiancee's or husbands.
i also ran the car through the car wash, vacuumed it, got the kid's laptop a new charger. now we are watching 2 1/2 weeks, a classic! and then it is the grocery store, dinner, and my last walk of the night!
Friday, August 19, 2011
i hate being horny and alone
so i got to bed at 10 my usual time, i fall asleep quickly.
i'm having very specific sex dreams. i wake up so horny i am masterbating in my sleep at 11:45PM. and now i am wide awake with no one to fuck.
i hate these power hormone surges!!!
i think i will just walk it off tomorrow. i got 3 miles in today, i will do 5 miles tomorrow. the more i think about sex the more i will walk.
i will be the skinniest, horniest, oldest bitch alive.
sheesh!!!
i'm having very specific sex dreams. i wake up so horny i am masterbating in my sleep at 11:45PM. and now i am wide awake with no one to fuck.
i hate these power hormone surges!!!
i think i will just walk it off tomorrow. i got 3 miles in today, i will do 5 miles tomorrow. the more i think about sex the more i will walk.
i will be the skinniest, horniest, oldest bitch alive.
sheesh!!!
6am up and ready to go
the downside to having more energy. i am wide awake at 6am now.
nothing better to do then get ready for the day.
i have a feeling, the more active i get the less i'm going to sleep in and with me not watching tv, i'm going to have to fill in all the new hours with something. maybe one of my neighbors will be able to give me some extra special exercise ;)
it is friday, but my mood is still in the tank. it's weird to have energy, yet be in a down swing of a mood. i was walking my 3rd mile yesterday and in my head all i heard was keep on walking, keep on walking, keep on walking, cuz your thighs are fat and you are ugly. borderline personality disorder can really be bummer.
it's hard to love me, but i wish someone would try!
nothing better to do then get ready for the day.
i have a feeling, the more active i get the less i'm going to sleep in and with me not watching tv, i'm going to have to fill in all the new hours with something. maybe one of my neighbors will be able to give me some extra special exercise ;)
it is friday, but my mood is still in the tank. it's weird to have energy, yet be in a down swing of a mood. i was walking my 3rd mile yesterday and in my head all i heard was keep on walking, keep on walking, keep on walking, cuz your thighs are fat and you are ugly. borderline personality disorder can really be bummer.
it's hard to love me, but i wish someone would try!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
worry not my daughter
my kid is definitely going back to school in september!!!
what good news for her and me!
she got her acceptance letter for her program and next friday she takes her placement test.
we send in her deposit for a dorm room tomorrow!
i will have a calm quiet and peaceful house when september ends.
i am feeling better today, but still did not sleep well.
lots of up and down and my left side still hurts.
i only walked one mile yesterday.
i'm going to push for two miles today.
my couch gets fixed today, yipee!!!
life is good.
what good news for her and me!
she got her acceptance letter for her program and next friday she takes her placement test.
we send in her deposit for a dorm room tomorrow!
i will have a calm quiet and peaceful house when september ends.
i am feeling better today, but still did not sleep well.
lots of up and down and my left side still hurts.
i only walked one mile yesterday.
i'm going to push for two miles today.
my couch gets fixed today, yipee!!!
life is good.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
suddenly ill
woke up at 4:30 not feeling well. thought i might be hungry, so i had a very small bowl of all bran and took some tylenol for my back ache and allergy med for my stuffed up nose.
woke up at 6:00 feeling okay. went to work around 9am the meds were wearing off and i was miserable. i struggled to lunch and tried to eat some salad and a piece of veggie pizza but neither agreed with me.
my left side and lower back are killing me.
so i begged off work, came home and i am working remotely now.
i think i strained my back muscles walking.
i've also been working on improving my posture.
maybe that's why it hurts.
so tired!!! i'm still going to walk at least 1 mile tonight. yesterday I walked two. I'm not going to let some aches and pains keep me down.
woke up at 6:00 feeling okay. went to work around 9am the meds were wearing off and i was miserable. i struggled to lunch and tried to eat some salad and a piece of veggie pizza but neither agreed with me.
my left side and lower back are killing me.
so i begged off work, came home and i am working remotely now.
i think i strained my back muscles walking.
i've also been working on improving my posture.
maybe that's why it hurts.
so tired!!! i'm still going to walk at least 1 mile tonight. yesterday I walked two. I'm not going to let some aches and pains keep me down.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
i stopped and my garage is cleaned!!!
my period finally stopped for GOOD!!!!
i got the garage cleaned and organized. i tried to make it pretty. i hung up a floral table cloth, and some christmas lights on the wall, but the kid made me take it all down, cuz it's a garage, it ain't supposed to be pretty.
i took Sophie to the dog park this morning. we ran the car thru the car wash. and i took all the trash to the dumpster. it has been a great day.
i'm into a size 16 pant now!!! i got it going on now.
my kid wants me to be fat and lazy again. she says she's going to shove ding dongs, cupcakes, and twinkies down my throat whilst i sleep. i'm starting to remember the H in my adhd.
i'm ready to finish up, which means i have to now put away all the stuff i brought into the house.
i got the garage cleaned and organized. i tried to make it pretty. i hung up a floral table cloth, and some christmas lights on the wall, but the kid made me take it all down, cuz it's a garage, it ain't supposed to be pretty.
i took Sophie to the dog park this morning. we ran the car thru the car wash. and i took all the trash to the dumpster. it has been a great day.
i'm into a size 16 pant now!!! i got it going on now.
my kid wants me to be fat and lazy again. she says she's going to shove ding dongs, cupcakes, and twinkies down my throat whilst i sleep. i'm starting to remember the H in my adhd.
i'm ready to finish up, which means i have to now put away all the stuff i brought into the house.
Friday, August 12, 2011
jack, dr. pepper, and cherry syrup
went to the summer work outing, free booze and food, i had 4 jack, dr. pepper's, and cherry syrup drinks. i was a buzzing, switched over to water and managed to come in 2nd place in the pool tournament.i won a visa gift card and a 10 peice bamboo serving set, which our company makes.
so it was a fun day. i suck at bowling and corn hole, but i'm okay with pool. i don't think i embarassed myself too badly. and i had fun. the food was okay. i didn't eat much.
got home and me and the kiddo's got subway and chinese. got loads of leftover's in the fridge. my hips hurt from bowling and my legs hurt from all the walking i've been doing with my nieces. i think i've walked 5 1/2 miles since wednesday, which is 5 miles more then i usually walk.
back to work on monday. i hate that work drags and vacatins fly by.
i hope i'm done with my period, it has seemed to stop, as if 16 days wasn't enough!!!
so it was a fun day. i suck at bowling and corn hole, but i'm okay with pool. i don't think i embarassed myself too badly. and i had fun. the food was okay. i didn't eat much.
got home and me and the kiddo's got subway and chinese. got loads of leftover's in the fridge. my hips hurt from bowling and my legs hurt from all the walking i've been doing with my nieces. i think i've walked 5 1/2 miles since wednesday, which is 5 miles more then i usually walk.
back to work on monday. i hate that work drags and vacatins fly by.
i hope i'm done with my period, it has seemed to stop, as if 16 days wasn't enough!!!
menopause sounds really good right now
so i thought my period was done, after 15 days, but no. it started back up again this morning. if i could press a button on my body to start menopause, i'd so do it!!!
my back flipping aches, cramps are still raging, this just sucks! i called the doctor's office and wanted to make an appointment to have this checked out, but no, i have to talk to the nurse line first and it's a machine. and maybe, it's all my fracking pms'ing, but i was in no mood to tell a machine i'm having the period from hell.
i want to cry. i'm starting to think this period will not end. today i have some fun things to do, but i'll have to keep running to the bathroom to change my stupid pads out.
i guess if i'm still bleeding to death on monday i'll try the doctor again, maybe i won't want to scream into the phone when i get a machine. i know i'm being unreasonable, but it's not like i can control it. and that's my biggest problem, the more things out of my control the more i get upset. i have some serious issues, duh!!!
maybe if i take that neighbor up on his offer, sex will stop my period, it's not like he can knock me up right now.
my back flipping aches, cramps are still raging, this just sucks! i called the doctor's office and wanted to make an appointment to have this checked out, but no, i have to talk to the nurse line first and it's a machine. and maybe, it's all my fracking pms'ing, but i was in no mood to tell a machine i'm having the period from hell.
i want to cry. i'm starting to think this period will not end. today i have some fun things to do, but i'll have to keep running to the bathroom to change my stupid pads out.
i guess if i'm still bleeding to death on monday i'll try the doctor again, maybe i won't want to scream into the phone when i get a machine. i know i'm being unreasonable, but it's not like i can control it. and that's my biggest problem, the more things out of my control the more i get upset. i have some serious issues, duh!!!
maybe if i take that neighbor up on his offer, sex will stop my period, it's not like he can knock me up right now.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Cosi
had a lot of fun today. my dad, two neices, the kid and i went to cosi here in columbus. i was worried that with the youngest being 12 and the oldest being 67 that there wouldn't be enough "non-kiddy" things to do. but we really had a good time. we did the classic exhibits only. we didn't see any of the shows and we still spent 3 1/2 hours there.
i really liked the life section, i age up real well, and my kid and i found out how much we really really really look-a-like, it was scary! we really liked the progress section too, the 1962 part was fun.
we had loads of fun with the gadget section too. we played with everything. we really took our time in each section. just when we thought the section was done we found something we missed.
my only complaint, it is expensive!!! we went to wendy's to eat. the gift shops are always expensive, but just to get in i thought was steep and tons of stuff was extra, i just don't like museams that do that. i know the funding is getting cut for them, but they are going to lose people coming cuz they won't be able to afford the admission.
well, lots of photos and videos to load.
i really liked the life section, i age up real well, and my kid and i found out how much we really really really look-a-like, it was scary! we really liked the progress section too, the 1962 part was fun.
we had loads of fun with the gadget section too. we played with everything. we really took our time in each section. just when we thought the section was done we found something we missed.
my only complaint, it is expensive!!! we went to wendy's to eat. the gift shops are always expensive, but just to get in i thought was steep and tons of stuff was extra, i just don't like museams that do that. i know the funding is getting cut for them, but they are going to lose people coming cuz they won't be able to afford the admission.
well, lots of photos and videos to load.
15 days of blood
my period started july 28th and has continued, it stopped for a 1/2 day on august 1st and again on august 4th, but started again!!!
it just won't end. i am being weened off of medication and i think thata is the cause,but i think i'm going to call the ob/gyn tomorrow morning.
the bleeding is getting heavier and the cramps are getting more painful. i think my uterus is trying to escape!!!
it sucks to be female sometimes.
i have run out of pads twice. it's like the period that will not end, it goes on and on my friends!!!
it just won't end. i am being weened off of medication and i think thata is the cause,but i think i'm going to call the ob/gyn tomorrow morning.
the bleeding is getting heavier and the cramps are getting more painful. i think my uterus is trying to escape!!!
it sucks to be female sometimes.
i have run out of pads twice. it's like the period that will not end, it goes on and on my friends!!!
Monday, August 8, 2011
the naughty neighbor
wow, that makes 3 neighbors that want in my pants. i almost let this one in. he's my type. dag nab it. and i'm trying to behave myself.
he needed a towel and he lives up toward the front, but he's back here working on his boat, so i said i'll get ya a towel, and invited him and he mentioned he was interested in getting a 3 bedroom and i said you want a tour and he's like sure.
so we go upstairs and i'm showing him the bedrooms, the bathrooms, etc.. the master bedroom is very large and he just lays on my bed and goes this is nice. wow, i got very tongue tied and i couldn't stop just laughing. i am think, is he married, single, what? i see this blonde with him all the time. i don't want drama where i live. so we are laying on the bed.
he asks me if i'm nervous and i'm like yes and he's like i know i could tell, your heart is racing. he's like you can stop this. so i weighed my options and got off the bed. i'm so proud of myself, cuz it was tempting!!!
but he had told me he has 7 kids by 6 women.
wow, he's smooth. and cute. i mentioned how the other neighbor liked me and i wasn't interested and he said what's different about me, and i said i think you're cute and he said i think you are too. i said i figured you like me. most men don't wrap themselves around you if they aren't liking ya.
okay, shannon, just calm down, don't over think this. don't over spin it. it was no big deal. just keep chill on it. we are not going to start screwing the neighbor guy. we are not, we are not, we are not!!!
he needed a towel and he lives up toward the front, but he's back here working on his boat, so i said i'll get ya a towel, and invited him and he mentioned he was interested in getting a 3 bedroom and i said you want a tour and he's like sure.
so we go upstairs and i'm showing him the bedrooms, the bathrooms, etc.. the master bedroom is very large and he just lays on my bed and goes this is nice. wow, i got very tongue tied and i couldn't stop just laughing. i am think, is he married, single, what? i see this blonde with him all the time. i don't want drama where i live. so we are laying on the bed.
he asks me if i'm nervous and i'm like yes and he's like i know i could tell, your heart is racing. he's like you can stop this. so i weighed my options and got off the bed. i'm so proud of myself, cuz it was tempting!!!
but he had told me he has 7 kids by 6 women.
wow, he's smooth. and cute. i mentioned how the other neighbor liked me and i wasn't interested and he said what's different about me, and i said i think you're cute and he said i think you are too. i said i figured you like me. most men don't wrap themselves around you if they aren't liking ya.
okay, shannon, just calm down, don't over think this. don't over spin it. it was no big deal. just keep chill on it. we are not going to start screwing the neighbor guy. we are not, we are not, we are not!!!
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Locked myself out!
i'm on vacation all next week. so i woke up on fire to get the house cleaned, the errands ran, and just be able to relax for a couple of days with no chores to do.
i start out good. i got alot of cleaning done. so i thought, time to run the errands. i go get some groceries, a money order, i come home, open the garage, pull in and go to turn the knob on the garage door to the house and it is LOCKED!!!
i usually don't lock it, but my garage door had broken and i had started locking the garage door to the house, since anyone could open my garage door, because it was on manual.
The garage door got fixed Friday, but i forgot to unlock the door into the house. so here i am with milk and fruit in hot humid weather, totally locked out. my house keys are on the hook in the house. I go to get my cell phone out of my purse to call my kid to find out how she picks the lock and i forgot my cell phone!
i am on a roll here.
i go down to the neighbor, he's washing his car, and he hands me his cell phone so i can call the office and get the after hours emergency number for maitenance. and his cell phone keeps freezing up. wonderful!!!
he finally gets his cell to work and i get the call in. I am so thankful our landlords live in the house next door. He came right over. I apologized for being an idiot, explained to him what happened, he asked if they had fixed the garage door and what had been wrong with it. I told him it was fixed and that the circuit board in the actual garage door device had to be replaced. he was really nice about it, but i told him i was going right back out to get a spare key made to keep in my car.
so i went back out, got 2 spare keys made, and came back and thankfully they both worked!!! one is in my purse, the other in my car, being in apartment complex, it is not like a can do a hide a key.
but i was determined to finish cleaning. and i must say the place looks spiffy. i notice that when i have a clean house i just feel calmer. clutter induces frenzy. i rearranged my bedroom. and i packed up some old clothes to donate. i just got to finish laundry, organize my wreck of a closet, and put away the dishes.
it's not 5pm and i'm physically exhausted and emotionally tapped out!!!!
i start out good. i got alot of cleaning done. so i thought, time to run the errands. i go get some groceries, a money order, i come home, open the garage, pull in and go to turn the knob on the garage door to the house and it is LOCKED!!!
i usually don't lock it, but my garage door had broken and i had started locking the garage door to the house, since anyone could open my garage door, because it was on manual.
The garage door got fixed Friday, but i forgot to unlock the door into the house. so here i am with milk and fruit in hot humid weather, totally locked out. my house keys are on the hook in the house. I go to get my cell phone out of my purse to call my kid to find out how she picks the lock and i forgot my cell phone!
i am on a roll here.
i go down to the neighbor, he's washing his car, and he hands me his cell phone so i can call the office and get the after hours emergency number for maitenance. and his cell phone keeps freezing up. wonderful!!!
he finally gets his cell to work and i get the call in. I am so thankful our landlords live in the house next door. He came right over. I apologized for being an idiot, explained to him what happened, he asked if they had fixed the garage door and what had been wrong with it. I told him it was fixed and that the circuit board in the actual garage door device had to be replaced. he was really nice about it, but i told him i was going right back out to get a spare key made to keep in my car.
so i went back out, got 2 spare keys made, and came back and thankfully they both worked!!! one is in my purse, the other in my car, being in apartment complex, it is not like a can do a hide a key.
but i was determined to finish cleaning. and i must say the place looks spiffy. i notice that when i have a clean house i just feel calmer. clutter induces frenzy. i rearranged my bedroom. and i packed up some old clothes to donate. i just got to finish laundry, organize my wreck of a closet, and put away the dishes.
it's not 5pm and i'm physically exhausted and emotionally tapped out!!!!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
finally, something i can eat!
i have had a series of bad baking lately.
i was baking brownies on sunday night when the power went out 20 minutes in on a 45 minute bake.
power came back on 2 1/2 hours later. finished baking the brownies to no avail. the middle was soup. what a waste!
made cupcakes monday night, i am persistant, but i was short 1 egg, so i had to use egg beaters instead. they were not good. dog wouldn't even eat them. threw them out. what a tragedy!!
so tonight, i pull out some crescent rolls and the nutella and the third time is the charm. the power stayed on the rolls stuffed with nutella came out perfectly. life is good again!!!
i was baking brownies on sunday night when the power went out 20 minutes in on a 45 minute bake.
power came back on 2 1/2 hours later. finished baking the brownies to no avail. the middle was soup. what a waste!
made cupcakes monday night, i am persistant, but i was short 1 egg, so i had to use egg beaters instead. they were not good. dog wouldn't even eat them. threw them out. what a tragedy!!
so tonight, i pull out some crescent rolls and the nutella and the third time is the charm. the power stayed on the rolls stuffed with nutella came out perfectly. life is good again!!!
A frenzied day
i strongly dislike days like today.. everything was going smoothly and quietly, then something at work breaks. and now it is rush, rush, rush. i don't handle stress like that well. but i did alot of deep breathing and managed to get through it. but it did make me cranky.
i looked up tri-polar on the internet, it's a combo of bi-polar and borderline personality disorder, which i do have both.
out of the 15 signs/symptoms they listed, i go through 12 of them on a regular basis. but to me that is just life and status quo.
i'd go back to the shrink if i could afford it, but my insurance barely cover's mental health. it is too expensive to be mentally ill today. so i'm stopping right now because i just can't afford it. where's the off switch???
i wish it was that easy.
i am swinging low right now. feeling down about myself. feeling lonely, unloved, empty, and just totally bummed. yesterday i did not feel this way. i think it is because i'm tired. work was crazy and that makes me tired. and when i get tired i can't cope with anything.
so i think i'll just read some scriptures from the book of Job and go to bed early. tomorrow is another day, and i hope it is a better day.
i looked up tri-polar on the internet, it's a combo of bi-polar and borderline personality disorder, which i do have both.
out of the 15 signs/symptoms they listed, i go through 12 of them on a regular basis. but to me that is just life and status quo.
i'd go back to the shrink if i could afford it, but my insurance barely cover's mental health. it is too expensive to be mentally ill today. so i'm stopping right now because i just can't afford it. where's the off switch???
i wish it was that easy.
i am swinging low right now. feeling down about myself. feeling lonely, unloved, empty, and just totally bummed. yesterday i did not feel this way. i think it is because i'm tired. work was crazy and that makes me tired. and when i get tired i can't cope with anything.
so i think i'll just read some scriptures from the book of Job and go to bed early. tomorrow is another day, and i hope it is a better day.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Kitties everywhere!
i could not get sophie to come in this morning. when i took her for her 9am walk i found out why, kittens!!!!
it took all my strength to keep her from them. the momma (a calico) and the poppa (tiger yellow striped) watched me and the dog very carefully from under my neighbor's boat.
they had the kittens under my other neighbor's trailer, not so smart, since he moves that for work. he had to have seen them this morning, but he's not an animal person, so he probably ignored them.
i was afraid to touch the kittens, i know sometimes if a human touches them the mother will abandon them. it's been an hour now and i looked out the window and 3 out of the 5 have been moved. i did go out and move the remaining two from out of the hot sun to under the boat. i hope the momma cat moves them. i think they are approx. 2-3 weeks old, the eyes are open, still blue, and the ears aren't fully up yet. they can move around but just a little.
sophie the puggle is keeping a very close eye on the situation. she is a no nonsense dog when it comes to those kitty cats.
it took all my strength to keep her from them. the momma (a calico) and the poppa (tiger yellow striped) watched me and the dog very carefully from under my neighbor's boat.
they had the kittens under my other neighbor's trailer, not so smart, since he moves that for work. he had to have seen them this morning, but he's not an animal person, so he probably ignored them.
i was afraid to touch the kittens, i know sometimes if a human touches them the mother will abandon them. it's been an hour now and i looked out the window and 3 out of the 5 have been moved. i did go out and move the remaining two from out of the hot sun to under the boat. i hope the momma cat moves them. i think they are approx. 2-3 weeks old, the eyes are open, still blue, and the ears aren't fully up yet. they can move around but just a little.
sophie the puggle is keeping a very close eye on the situation. she is a no nonsense dog when it comes to those kitty cats.
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