walking it off

wow, i woke up totally depressed. just in the downest of moods. i didn't want to walk, but the rain stopped and i thought, one mile won't hurt.
i started walking and then it started raining, so i grabbed an umbrella at the start of my 2nd lap. the more i walked the less depressed i felt.
i closed my eyes here and there and just felt the rain and the coldness against my face. it felt refreshing.

my old therapist told me that exercise can really help a bi-polar 2 type with the depressive episodes. i didn't want to believe him. i've exercised in the past and never never never got those happy hormones. but walking is different. maybe it's because i can just do it at my leisure, walk as fast or as slow as i want. i listen to my i-pod and try to walk at the pace of the music. i don't know, but i've become obsessed with walking.

i just did 2 miles and i wanted to do one more but the rain and wind picked up. i think this afternoon i'll do 2 more and this eveing 1 more for a total of 5 miles like yesterday. the rain is supposed to be sporadic. and i didn't mind walking under the umbrella. my foot hardly bothered me, so this is good right!

when i get depressed i'll just take a walk!

first day no pop, don't know if that's part of the problem or not. took some excederin cuz i was getting a headache. i'm not trying to give up caffiene, just soda pop. i think it is more likely the chemicals in our food and beverages causing the uptick in cancers, autism, and other neurlogical disorders then say immunizations. the more chemicals we put in our bodies the more potential for a cataclysm of reactions that can't all be good can happen.

i might start eating organic as well. i already have so much stacked against me physically in the genetics department i need to do as much as i can to thwart diseases like diabetes, heart disease, cancer, arthritis (all of which i have showed signs of already!)

now i'm just depressing myself again. the rain storms fit my mood today!

the blister!!!

well walking is out the window. i put the blister bandage over my expanding blister so i could walk around with the kid at her new school for orientation and registration. i thought it was doing okay. we walked alot.

i get home and go to take the bandage off and check the blister and the bandage had melted into the blister. I had to painfully pull off what i could and the blister came off with it. then i had to cut off the rest for easily to get the rest of the bandage off, but all the skin came off with it.

now i am in alot of pain and the bottom of my foot is red and raw. it is starting to burn and throb alot. and of course, it is a friday so the doctor is closed until monday.

i will just have to suck it up and keep my foot up all weekend. at least my kid is still home for 3 weeks to take care of me. but only if i threaten to not give her any extra money when she goes to school. yup, she really really does not care that i hurt.

whenever i try to do right or good, it always comes back around to hurt me in some way!!!!

oh, how the night went into the crapper

night started well. we headed to physical therapy for gab and the car stalled in the parking lot. i got an unexpected check in the mail to boost the bank account. we ate at kfc. we were laughing. all was well. we went to the grocery store. i had to potty. i set my purse on the floor and when i picked it up, some yucky mold like substance got all over my clothes, hands, legs, and it was gross.

an employee tried to help me clean it up, but i think my clothes are ruined. and from here then night gets worse. gab gets hiccups towards the end of the grocery trip and some huge guy decides to scare her out of them the same time i decide to scare her out of them. so she gets boo yelled at her from me (behind her) and this strange man (in front of her) and the other people in the dairy aisle start laughing, but gab is freaked out to say the least.

we get home and i take sophie upstairs so i can change and distract her while gab hauls in the groceries. gab screams there is broken glass and to keep sophie upstairs. gab set the salsa on the stove and it fell out of the bag and broke all over the floor. she says it is cleaned up. i come downstairs, barefoot, and promptly find, with my left heel some glass. between my bleeding, gab having a melt down (and her hiccups disappeared during the melt down) and the dog trying to eat the glass, i can say monday night SUCKS!!!

i'm going to shower, band aid my foot, and go to bed early. i pray tomorrow is a better day.