Summer Days Are Here

you can feel the hot breath of summer breathing upon your neck.
the temps are up.
the storms are frequent.
and the humidity is frizzing my hair!
this year i will brave the public swimming pool.
i haven't gone swimming at a public pool in over 8 years.
i'm a size 14!
i got some cute swim shorts and i've been searching for a top to keep the boobs in.
that is not an easy task, i'm still a 40DDD.

i might have to order online for it.
it'll be more expensive but hopefully it'll keep me from popping out.
the pools open this weekend.
i'm excited.
i think we will go saturday and sunday.
i'm on vacation right now so sitting by the pool sounds good to me.
i'll call saturday and get their hours.
i'll see if i can bring a cooler with water and snacks.
maybe i can get my friend and her daughter to go with us.

brent and i are trying for a baby again this month.
he's so busy.
i told him we have to be together every 2-3 days.
we were together yesterday.
it had been 12 days since we had sex.
it was amazing as always.
now we have to be together saturday then monday or tuesday.
and he wants it to be natural.
he wants no ovulation prediction kits, no fertility drugs, all natural.

i read on line that a bmi 30 and under is good for fertility.
i'm 16 pounds away from reaching that.
so i'm amping up my weight loss efforts.
i'm eating healthier and walking more.
of course, i have to wait until 8pm to walk cuz it is so hot,
but this is worth it!
a baby, with a man that actually loves me and wants me to have his child.
yes, this is different!

i love summer!

crown and ginger ale

wow, i am an idiot!!!

jackie came down around 3pm friday and he was drinking crown and ginger ale while eating a slim jim.
he said the slim jim masked the whiskey.
he wanted me to meet his buddy rob and show him my boobies.
jackie has been talking up my boobs to heights they have never aspired to.
i kept to my one drink rule, thankfully!
and he was right, the slim jim did blank out the whiskey after taste, did i mention he made my drink in a 24 oz glass!
that hit me hard, i was really buzzed.
i wasn't going to show my boobs at all, but jackie walked up behind me and just popped them out.
i was not happy.
his friend left after getting an eyeful, jackie poured me a 2nd drink that i didn't touch.
jackie was trying to talk me into doing him and his roommate.
or at least give them blow jobs!
i was not interested.
jackie whipped out his little manhood, he assurred me it gets bigger, i did not stick around to find out.
new rule --- no drinks at jackie;s and no going inside at jackie's!
the worst part is cindy came over to give jackie his resume she's been helping him with and it was just post boobie exposure!
i was embarassed to say the least.
i know jackie is going to tell scott, i know they talk about shit like that.
but i did not have sex with anyone.
and considering i could be pregnant that will be my last drink too.
i'll use my sugar being high if drinks are offered in the future to pass.

i can take my first pregnancy test on the 11th.
i'm hopeful!

Die Monday Die!!!

today sucked!!! this monday was nothing but disappointment, bad news, problems, errors, and just bullshit!!!

bret's court date got cancelled, so i won't see him this week at all :(
he sounded super bummed too, he really just wants to get back to living his life with him and his daughter,
his custody battle has been going on since jan.
no wonder people take justice into their own hands, our court system moves way too slow!!!
i was so looking forward to seeing him and getting laid!
i'm selfish i know.
i want him to get what he wants too.
i still care about him alot and i only want goodness and happiness in his life.

i have to work saturday, so i can't go to my baby cousins 5th birthday party again.
my jewish co-worker seems to only be jewish when she gets the day off.
it is her turn to work the weekend, but it's the holiest of holy days for the jewish faith and there's no work.
lovely! i have to work christian holidays if that's what is required of my job.
i'm sick of having to work around her religon, she doesn't work around mine!
she eats bacon for God's sake!!!
and didn't even know if the kid she adopted was automatically jewish or had to be converted!
work is frustrating to me right now.
that is what happens when everything is due all at the same time!

then there's jackie, the perv neighbor that keeps wanting to touch my boobies.
i was all wound up friday thinking scott (the naughty neighbor) and i were finally going to have sex
and i flashed jackie, i had on no bra.
he said my boobs looked like GUM DROPS!!!
then he wanted me to show them to his roommate and kept talking about them to his roommate.
his roommate says he's never heard him talk about boobies like that before.
i know i can't keep a secret, but i thought a man could, sheesh!
he's cut off!!!!

so scott (the naughty neighbor) shows up thursday, we have our usual make out, grab ass fest,
then he says he's coming down friday to fuck me hard.
he doesn't show...AGAIN!!!
so sick of that man getting me all wound up and then nothing, nada, zip, zero, zilch!!!!
he tells me sunday that he had to work late.
i was like it happens.
i really don't care anymore.
the next time he comes around i'm just going to go NO, sorry, not interested.
unless he touches me then i cannot tell him no.
damn it!!!

i need to pull my head out my ass and start seriously applying myself to finding a long term exclusive relationship with a good man.
easy right!!!