Angels Talking

last night i had a dream angels were talking about me and him
everywhere i turned there were these beautiful winged angels whispering
and turning their heads away when i tried to meet their gaze.
what do dreams like these mean?

the neighbor that sold me the jeep and i used to sleep with went to the store
where my new lover works to complain about some work they did on his new car
he saw the jeep being worked on up on the rack
and asked why it was there
my lover said because it needs work done
the neighbor asked what work
and my lover told him the ball joints are going bad
and the neighbor lied and told him that he had told me they were going bad when he sold it to me.
wow, that's a huge lie.
he said the jeep was in good shape with no major work needing to be done.
my lover told me he could tell the neighbor was lying to him
the neighbor said it must be going bad because of how i'm driving it
my lover stated that my kid drives it
the neighbor got a look on his face like how do you know so much
then my lover said, don't worry i'm taking good care of her
then it dawned on the neighbor that he was now talking to my new lover

it's a small world after all!

i saw that neighbor today on his new motorcycle taking his kid for a ride
i find it funny that he worries about what's going on with his old car
but doesn't give a shit about the woman he used to fuck
he would tell me i was the hottest and wettest and he thought about me all the time.
my new lover tells me the same thing.
i wonder if he's lying to me like the neighbor did.
once burnt twice shy!

what would the angels say if they could talk to me today?
i could only understand my name and his in my dream.
i couldn't hear what else the angels were saying.
maybe the dream was me reminding myself of my fear of this man
being like the last man.

help, i have done it again.
i have been here many times before.
i pick the men that hurt me again and again.
and i can only blame me!

Meemaw died

my wonderful meemaw passed away at 2am this morning, peacefully in her sleep.
she had been in fading health the last couple of months.
she had just come home from the hospital yesterday.
i'm full of sorrow.

Brownie Irene was born on September 3, 1923.
She was one of ten children.
She smelled like cookies, sugar, and cinnamon buns.
She always wore her hair up.
She had beautiful brown eyes and almost black hair.
I was named Shannon Irene in her honor.
I have so many happy memories with her.

We were called the two irene's or i was called little irene.
she's how i got my southern drawal.
she taught me how make homemade biscuits.
she'd tell me when i was little that buying things is how she showed she loved me.
i told her the same thing when i was older and would try to buy her things.
she never fussed over herself.
she loved her grandchildren and great grandchildren with a deep absolute devotion.

as she aged she remained strong, stubborn, and adamant to be on her own.
in the past two years she had suffered a stroke, a bad fall, and finally a ruptured ulcer.
but i never heard her complain or gripe about her suffering.
she was steadfast in her faith that God would take care of her.
He took one of his everyday angels home today.
Meemaw i know heaven is awesome, but don't forget to remember i'm still down here and i miss you.

love always,
your little Irene!