The Wacky, Weird, and Werewolf

So me and my geeky guy went to see the Force Awakens, he was practically vibrating with excitement.
He made us go to the mall at 6:45, I kept telling him the movie didn't start until 7:50.
He kept hearing 7:20, sheesh.
I had already spent 5 hours at the mall with his kids because it was his daughter's birthday weekend.
We got her nails done and his other 2 got pedicures for the 1st time.
She forgot to get a birthday dress for her party the next day.
So we had enough time to go buy a dress and we didn't even miss the previews!

This family is NEVER on time to ANYWHERE!
it's insane!

I wake the middle girl up 2 hours before we are supposed to leave and she's still the last one ready.
She's the last one to do anything.
She is SLOW doing everything.
She never finishes her food.
She wanted Mexican food, she ordered a chicken sandwich.
She leaves unfinished food EVERYWHERE!
My kid found an unfinished turkey sandwich tucked in the back pocket of my passenger seat of my car, GROSS!

And they ALL bite!!!!
No that is NOT a typo, lol.

The oldest girl says she's part werewolf.
We were sitting in an old church on a tour and it's all quite and peaceful.
She puts her head on my shoulder all sweet and innocent like and picks up my arm and just bites me HARD!
And I was like, OMG, as quiet as I could, what was that for, and she goes, a love bite to accept you into our pack!!!
LOL!

The boy is a too funny.
He loves shoes as much as my kid does.
The 2 of them go into a shoe store and I can't get them to leave.
He can't tell girl tennis shoes from boys tennis shoes.
My daughter had to go this section is for vagina's and this one is for penis'.
I don't blame him for being confused. The crazy colors do make it hard to tell and it's not like it was clearly labeled.
He will spend ages polishing and scrubbing cleaning his tennis shoes.
He wanted a $200 pair of tennis shoes and another pair of $300 work boots, he doesn't work!
You ask him to do chores and he looks like you as if he's suddenly gone deaf and mute.

I do love all 3 of them. I really do.
Quirks and all, and believe me they are quirky kids.
My man is all weird too.
I think that is why we are so perfect.
A perfect wacky, weird, and totally (werewolf) well-suited family.
Wait till my dad tells the kids the wolf story!!!

A Creepy Encounter

I'm lying in bed trying to take a nap so I can be awake
when my new man calls around 11pm after he puts his kids asleep,
when the doorbell rings, it's 10:50 according to the clock and i was 1/2 asleep.
so i get up to see who it is.

i turn on the porch light and look through the peep hole and it's the neighbor that has the adorable pug named Rocky,
and the neighbor kid Landon, so I'm thinking something is wrong.
I open the door and he asks me if I've seen Rocky they can't find him.
I said No but I'll help you guys looks, maybe if we bring Sophie the Puggle outside,
Rocky will come to her since he likes her so much.

I put Sophie the Puggle on her leash and she's all kinds of excited now.
I hand her leash to him on the porch (I never let him in!)
and got my coat and shoes on, because it's now frapping cold in Ohio again.
Stupid yo-yo weather sucks.

So I step outside and take Sophie's leash from him and ask,
so where was the last place you saw Rocky.
He says in the house, he's fine, I just wanted to meet you.
What the FRAP!!!!???? (frap = a fuck and crap used at the same time)

Then i notice he's holding a beer and reeks of booze.
Great, he's drunk!
I grew up with many an alcoholic relative.
the first thing i learned is put distance between you and the drunk person.
So i back off the porch onto the parking lot
and ask so what's going on?

he said i hear you're some sort of computer expert.
i say i'm a computer programmer, why is your computer broken?
he's like no just trying to get to know you.
i wasn't even sure this was your apartment.
my heart is racing, i feel anxious and panicked!

i tell him that i'm waiting for my boyfriend to call.
my boyfriend calls every night to talk to me around this time.
i really really like my boyfriend.
i couldn't emphasize enough that i am taken leave me be.
i told him now that the dog is out i have to walk her.
thankfully, sophie is dragging me now to sniff the grass.
so i let her and start to follow her.

he's telling me this big sob story about him and landon's mom
they aren't married, they don't have sex, she means nothing to him.
they have the oldest kid together.
he's just helping her out.
again, i say i'm seeing someone.
i'm very happy.
sorry to hear about your troubles, but i'm sure it'll get better.
and i just let sophie lead me away.

he starts to walk along with me and i say well i better get her walked
and get back inside so i can talk to my boyfriend.
he seems angry, storms off towards his apartment and i hear the door slam.
i'm freaked out!

i mean, seriously, my dog is lost help me find it, that's what pedophiles says to get a little kid in the van.

i am done walking sophie, i'm back in the house, i'm making sure all my doors are locked.
i'm texting my man freaking out.
i am wide awake having a panic attack.
did the guy take the hint?
his he gonna come back?
my man thinks he's gone and says if he comes back he'll have a talk with him.
hearing his voice makes me feel so much better.
he calms me down and i'm able to finally go to sleep at 1:30am.

i swear the weirdest crap happens to me!

i think my conscience called me last night

last night at 10:23 pm the cell phone rang. didn't recognize the number, 513-470-4394, so i let it go. the number left a voice mail. i checked it thinking, wrong number or something. and it was a very weird message left in a female sing song voice. I was thinking drunken saturday night call to wrong number, when the female said my name, then said remember when i used to beat you up in high school. then the female voice proceeded to call me fat, stupid, ugly, etc... it was like my borderline personality disorder called to say outloud all the things i say to myself in my head all the time. Then it said my name again and hung up. so weird!!!

i tried back tracking the number, to no avail, i have no idea who it was. or what i possibly did to them back in high school to deserve such a rant. i don't recall getting beat up in high school. i pretty much kept to myself and left well enough alone. i didn't like high school, few do, and i didn't really want to be there, few do. i didn't party. i didn't drink. i didn't do drugs. i pretty much sat by myself, kept to myself, and came to school in what today would be called pajama's. i was lucky if i combed my hair. i tried to brush all my hair in front of my face and hide under it. even then, i thought i was fat, ugly, and stupid. i wonder if it was my conscience calling me.

anyhow, i went on facebook and changed it so my phone number is no longer visible to anyone, same with my address, and hopefully, who ever it is, sleeps it off. it was such a squeaky weird voice. i had just seen inception earlier in the evening, maybe it was a dream within a dream?