Upbeat Day

after a brutally long work day yesterday, i thought i'd wake up feeling exhausted and burnt out, so it was a happy surprise to realize i feel great!
i'm in a good mood. i'm feeling happy and content. maybe it's finally an up day in the bi-polar universe and it's about damn time.

i've been reading positive books, like Gordon B. Hinckley's 10 Virtues to Stand up for and Mariann Williamsons Everyday Graces. Excuse me if the spelling is wrong or the title inaccurate the books are upstairs and i don't feel like going up to get them.

i've noticed when i surround myself in positive things, movies, books, scripture, people, that temporarily i feel positive myself. i am unable to sustain the momentum though and the darkness always calls me back, the curse of being bi-polar 2.

maybe it's a good day because i woke up and for once, in what has seemed an eternity, it is not raining, the sun is out!!!! it is very cold outside and it is odd to have the furnace on in May, the last time I had to wear my winter coat in may, i was in 8th grade and had a mullet, but the sun is such a welcome reprieve from the gloomy rains.

go outside today and just be thankful to see the sun, that's what i'm going to do today!!!

Bliss

life is good, right now, in this moment, there is no fear, no hate, no insecurites, i just am, breathing, existing, peaceful, calm, content, still, and blissful.

i've had a headache since friday. fell asleep last night at 8pm, got up at 11pm, 3am, and 7am, had to put ice on my neck then heat on my back. but i went back to be around 8am and slept till 11am and my headache was gone.

now i have a pot of chili simmering on the stove, the dog is asleep after a long walk, and i'm listening to music, sitting here, watching birds outside play.

life is only as complicated as we make it. i don't need alot. and it is days like today that remind me to appreciate all that i do have. in this moment, i am content, ache free, and at peace with the world. bliss!!!