The First Full Exchange

Last night we exchanged I love you's for the very first time.
There were no i'm falling for you's just straight I love you's.
I told him you know I have fallen head over heels in love with you.
He said I love what an amazing person you are.
I love what a great cock sucker you are.
Oh, hell, who am I kidding, I love you!
Finally he admits what I already knew in my heart to be true, we are in love.

50 days, 7 weeks of passion and falling in love!

I have never felt this in love ever before.
My neighbors say I'm glowing and bouncing around.
I smile all the time.
Every day is just sunshine and happiness.

The pregnancy test was negative and I didn't get depressed over it.
I was a little disappointed but I shook it right off,
because my head whispered we still have him!
He's what is important.
This bond and relationship is what is important.


Before I didn't care who the father of my child was as long as I had the child.
Now I can't imagine any other man being the father of my baby.
If we're to ever break up I'd stop trying.
He is perfection to me.
He's insecure sometimes which is cute.
He says when I leave him... I laugh.
It'll be the other way around.
It'll be ten years from now and he'll dump me for a younger model.
We both laugh.

He brings out the very best in me.
I want to make him happy.
He wants to make me happy.
He loves and respects me.

Wow, this is the real deal!

I had given up.
And now I have my reward for all the past suffering I've done in relationships gone wrong.
I finally have a man who loves me back as much as I love him!!!!!

Thank you God!!!!

Merry Christmas to All!!!

Well, i made my round of merry christmas calls and text messages. I saw a video of Mom that my sister-in-law posted on facebook from her last christmas 15 years ago. i cried. i had forgotten so much about her and her voice and her mannerisms. i miss her so much. i cried, i laughed, my heart ached. what a way to start christmas day, firmly bawling over the past. i wish she were here. christmas has never been the same since she died. i'm trying to be brave and put my big girl panties on and just suck it up. but it's so hard. so hard.

merry christmas everyone. hug the ones you love, you never know when your last christmas will come.