well, i'm doing it to myself again. i let him back in. i invited him, opened the door and my legs and just took it hard, fast, slow, and over and over again. i can't say no to him. i sent him a facebook and told him i missed him and he missed me to. now he's back, but we are back to just friends that have sex sometimes. i don't want to call it friends with benefits. i don't want to label it. i don't want to have to explain it to anyone. i don't want to defend myself when it comes to him.
i was honest. i told him a part of me will always be in love with him. the weight loss made the sex even greater, which i didn't realize was possible. i tell ya he knows my buttons and he pushes them expertly. it was so hot between us. i don't know what to do. i can't put pressure on either one of us. i don't want to get married or have kids so what am i giving up just by fucking around with him. i know my heart will jump in eventually and make a mess of things, but right now i just love the way he makes me feel.
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