11.7 down yipee!

despite almost crashing and burning on the diet, i recovered and lost 3.1 pounds this week. my cholesterol and tryglcerides were both down by an at least 20 points! This is progress. My little pig out was 1,060 calories. I had no idea a small pizza had so many calories! Education when you are trying to lose weight is key.

The nutritionist was encouraging. I minimized my splurge and by recognizing why i splurged, mental distress, i can work to change that bad habit. she said if it happens again, instead of pizza, get a grilled chicken breast and veggies at a restaurant. Or grill a hamburger with cheese and no bun. But she'd prefer I not go ape at all and just drink the shakes and have one of their soups to take off the edge.

it's progress. i'm a work in progress, but i will win. i can do this!!!

8.8 down 71.2 to go

i lost 8.8 pounds this past week!!!

it is so hard!

i'm trying to undo the damage i've done to myself with over eating since i was a kid. i use food to cope with everything. i even had a panic attack over losing the 8.8 pounds. i had a hot dog before i got ahold of myself. i've always been the fat girl. who am i if i'm not the fat girl anymore???

i have to redefine myself by my insides instead of what i look on the outside. it is scaring the crap out of me. but i talked myself down from the ledge. i'm not doing this because of how i look.

my very life is at stake. i don't want to die before i'm 50, like Mom. I need to lose weight to save my life. My tryglcerides and chlosterol are out of control. My back, knees, and body just hurt from the extra weight.

i'm doing this because it's right for me. i want to live a long and healthy life. i don't want to be winded just getting up from a chair. i don't want to be tired just walking up the stairs. i want to run! i want to be healthy!

i can do this! i can do this! i can do this!!!!

i love to eat, but i love living more!
on with the revolution~