It's Going to Be Alright

braved getting on the wii today to weigh myself and do some yoga
the wii board was happy to inform me it had been 20 days since my last visit
i'm thinking, oh no, i've gained, i've gained,
but i was surprised i'd lost 4.9 pounds in 20 days.

it's not some record or anything it is just the right direction.
i started writing down what i eat and i mean everything i eat.
that keeps me honest and lets me see how much i'm eating.
now i'm starting to count calories, carbs, fat and fiber again.
i'm slowly getting back into the weight loss groove.

the yoga kicked my butt.
my balance was still okay though.
my new man is starting a px90 work out.
he says it's intense and an hour a day.

i'm going to do what works for me.

i will wii, walk, count calories and carbs.
it can be a pain and if i'm feeling lazy like i have since january,
i gain back weight.
but considering my lowest weight back in november was 193 i didn't go too crazy.
but i'm starting to feel like my old self.
the sadness and emotional turmoil is lifting.
my new man is a breath of fresh air.

i asked him to give me a hickey and he gave me a huge one.
he just excites me to the core.
just sitting here thinking about him turns me on.
there's this amazing connection that is physical and euphoric.
i'm not in love, i'm in primal animal full sexual peak.
i know i'm going to be stupid and fall in love eventually.
he explained to me when a woman gets an orgasm from a man
she releases a chemical in her brain that attaches her to that man.
and i'm attached or addicted whatever you want to call it.

i went 6 months with no orgasms to him giving me 10 in an hour.
how could i not want that as much as possible?!

today is about getting back on track in my life, health, and happiness.
i finally get that feeling that it's going to be alright!