well, i'm spending christmas eve without the man i adore. he's on call at work christmas eve and day for snow removal. and he has to report to work an hour after being called and i live 3 hours away. so he just can't come to visit. so much for playing naughty santa. it just totally takes the cheer out of my christmas spirit.
my kid works noon - 4 tomorrow. and christmas day we are supposed to be buried in snow, so no driving 2 hours to visit family. the car can barely handle driving back and forth to work. wow, christmas is going to suck. which is so sad.
christmas is all about disappointment. first when you are a kid and you rip open all your presents totally excited until they are all open and you didn't get a damn thing you wanted! And then when you get a little older and you find out santa isn't real, what a disappointment. then when you become an adult and you make all these plans and they fall through or you can't afford to buy any christmas presents, major disappointments. Christmas is and always has been tied to disappointment!
i miss my mom now more then ever. this was her favorite time of year. i can't believe that 15 years ago this was her last christmas. today is my nephew's 15th birthday. mom went to see him in virginia and a month later she died. she'd be so proud of him and all her grandchildren. my mom was truly a person that lived for others, especially her grandchildren.
merry christmas and happy new year. i'm already disappointed so there's not much more depressed i can get at this point.
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