Cinco De Momma

My baby girl bought me dinner at Chipotle!!!! And since my tummy had finally settled I jumped right into a chicken burrito. It was yummy!!! But I might regret that later, i guess i won't find out until later tonight. Of course, dinner came with a don't expect anything for mother's day, quip. I wasn't expecting anything at all since she's heading out to visit her paternal grandma and aunt for the next two weeks. and I have to work this mother's day. i really hope they move the maitenance schedule to the following sunday.

i like to get reflective on mother's day about mom. we had such a dynamic relationship. when i was younger it was more combative and after i had my daughter we became more like friends. i do miss her. i'd like to blame all my craziness on her, but she's probably like 75% of it. i wish sometimes i could just go back and be holding her hand there at the end. we are born alone and we die alone.

and i worry i'll die before i'm 50 just like my mom. i worry about that alot, yet i fail in controlling my eating habits and exercising, which puts me on the path of a blockage in my heart. i need to be proactive but all i do is worry. worry worry worry.