what a miserable week

i had a great weekend. but it's been all down hill since tuesday.
i'm sick.
i'm screwing up at work.
i can't think straight.
i'm coughing up my lungs full of snot.
my chest hurts.
and he and his girlfriend are still together.
i want him to be happy, i'd just wish it was with them.
but shit happens and i just got to roll with the punches.
i'm really starting to not give a fuck anymore.

good mood

i am in a good mood. it's gloomy outside, but inside i feel all warm and fuzzy.
i have an old high school friend, who i reconnected with on facebook, and is becoming a good friend, coming down for the weekend.
i'm so excited.

i really like him. i like talking to him. i like hearing him talk.
i can't wait until we can sit down face to face and just talk about
anything and everything.

it is so rare for me to click with someone.
i usually am so odd that people just don't get me and
they give up trying to, but he seems to just roll with it
and i think he's got most of me figured out.

it is so refreshing to talk to someone about everything,
and i'm not afraid of offending him or scaring him.
he doesn't make me feel stupid or inferior.
he's not condescending.

this is good. we like the same movies.
and we can agree to disagree on stuff.
i know some people if you don't agree with them on something,
they get all pouty and won't talk to you.
it's so childish.
i am really looking forward to this weekend.
can't wait for it to be saturday night.

here's to friends, old or new, it's always good to hear from you.

foolish thoughts

i am having silly thoughts and dreams about falling in love again.
i'm sure i'll screw something up, it's not like i can ever get it right.
but i just like the idea of happily ever after.
the end to lonely nights in a bed with a dog that can annoy sometimes.

ugh, last night i opened the window since it's so cool, and she spent the night barking suddenly at any little noise. i was not please with sophie at all.
she's all happy go lucky this morning and the bags under my eyes are larger then usual. tonight, the window stays shut, and i don't care if i have to turn the air on to get thru the night, when it's 40 degrees outside. i can't take another sleepless night. i seldom sleep thru the night as it is. having to tell the dog to shut up, stop, be quiet off and on for the whole night sucks.

she is an excellent warning system, but considering i don't need to be alerted to the night crickets, it's annoying.

i'm taking a nap tonight or going to be early!!!

ugh, i tripped last night

this sucks, i tripped over a shoe the dog had dragged out to the middle of the entry way by the stairs. now on top of my scabbed knee, my ankle and foot are all messed up. i caught myself against the front door, but it was close. i almost went thru the front window we have. that would have been messy.

i go to the doctor on the 9th and i got to ask her why i keep tripping, falling, and have no sense of balance. my right ear bothers me sometimes, it rings and i feel like it's being pushed on from inside my skull, loads of pressure and the dizziness comes and goes. i don't throw up or feel like i'm going to throw. i just get really panicked and i try to stay still until it passes. luckily "the dizzy spells" only last a few minutes, but they are getting more frequent and severe.

maybe it's my sinus' or an ear infection. something easy to fix. that would be lovely if i could actually just for once have something easy to fix.